The Simpsons (TV Series)

Sideshow Bob Roberts (1994)

Harry Shearer: Lenny, Birch Barlow, Principal Skinner, Jasper, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Dr. Hibbert, Rainier Wolfcastle, Kent Brockman

Quotes 

• Birchibald T. Barlow : You know, there are three things we are never going to get rid of here in Springfield. One; the bats in the public library. Two; Mrs. McFierly's compost heap. And three; our six-term mayor. The illiterate, tax-cheating, wife-swapping, pot-smoking spendocrat, Diamond Joe Quimby.

  Mayor Quimby : [listening to the radio, while watering his marijuana plants]  Hey! I am no longer illiterate.

• Birchibald T. Barlow : [on the radio]  I want all of you out there to do everything in your power to see that Bob is set free!

  Moe Szyslak : All right, you heard the man.

  [He takes a box out from under the bar] 

  Moe Szyslak : Everybody, one grenade each.

  Barney Gumble : Moe, I think he meant through non-violent, grassroots, poltical action.

  Moe Szyslak : Really? You think? Okay, hand 'em back. Come on, everybody.

  [mad] 

  Moe Szyslak : Hey, hey! Who pulled the pin on this one?

• Kent Brockman : Alright, let's go live to Bob headquarters now, for Mayor Terwilliger's victory speech.

  Sideshow Bob : [approaches podium]  Ahem. Heh, heh, heh. Hah, hah hah, hah hah!

  [laughter grows progressively more maniacal] 

  Sideshow Bob : HA! HA HA HA HA HA! HAAA! HAAA! HAAA! HAAAA!

  Kent Brockman : And just look how happy he is.

• [after Bob's election] 

  Principal Skinner : Bart, by special order of the Mayor's office, you're being held back.

  Bart : Oh, I have to repeat the fourth grade?

  Principal Skinner : Yes, but not for four or five years. Bart, you're going to kindergarten.

  Bart : Kindergarten?

  Mrs. Krabappel : [pops champagne]  Ha!

• Birchibald T. Barlow : [listening to Sideshow Bob's imprisonment story]  Well, my friends, isn't this just typical? Another intelligent conservative railroaded by our liberal justice system. Just like...

  [pulls out a list] 

  Birchibald T. Barlow : Colonel Oliver North, Officer Stacey Koon and cartoon spokesperson Joe Camel. Well, I've had it! I'm gonna make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free!

  Bart : [listening to Barlow on the radio]  NOOOOO!

  Mrs. Krabappel : [offended by Bart's yell]  Well! Despite Bart's objections, the people of South Africa can now vote in free democratic elections.