The Simpsons (TV Series)

The President Wore Pearls (2003)

Marcia Wallace: Edna Krabappel

Quotes 

• Lisa : In the Swedish public schools, the students grade the teachers on their performance...

  Principal Skinner : Outstanding notions! Each more implementable than the last.

  Edna Krabappel : It's a shame you can't stay to discuss them. Here's your schedule for the day.

  Lisa : [looking it over]  "Photo op helping kindergartners take off snow boots", "move the brushfire hazard needle". Um, shouldn't I stay here and work on school policy?

  Principal Skinner : Lisa, you were elected to be seen and enjoyed. Don't hide your light in a smoky back room, making dusty old decisions.

  Lisa : [giggling happily]  Well, I am proud of my light.

  Principal Skinner : But just in case you want to do any more thinking, I'm proud to present you with an official key to the study hall. Use it anytime you like.

  Lisa : You mean I can come to the school after hours, weekends, even during the summer?

  Principal Skinner : Yes, it's like you're Harry Potter without the magic and wonder. Just sign these authorization forms, and you can be on your way.

  [she does so, and he leads her out] 

  Principal Skinner : [chuckling]  That little girl should learn to read things before she signs 'em.

  Lisa : [coming back]  Excuse me? I was wondering if I should read what I just signed.

  Principal Skinner : Oh, it's just standard key release boilerplate.

  Lisa : [leaving]  Okay.

  Principal Skinner : Boy, she'll believe anything.

  Lisa : [coming back again]  Key release boilerplate? I find that very hard to believe.

  Principal Skinner : Mm-hmm, and yet there it is.

  [ushering her out] 

  Principal Skinner : I'll just lock this door.

  Lisa : [coming back yet again]  Boy, this key opens everything.

• Lisa : Nelson, you're running for president?

  Nelson Muntz : I'm not saying I have all the answers, but I do have all the answer *keys* to every test.

  [students clamor around him] 

  Nelson Muntz : [passing them out]  Fractions? Dinosaurs? Foreign money? The first Thanksgiving?

  Edna Krabappel : Nelson, what are you doing?

  Nelson Muntz : Real estate license exam?

  Edna Krabappel : [taking it]  My ticket to freedom!

  Lisa : [dismayed, as the students all start chanting for him]  I'm doomed.