The Smoking Room (TV Series)

Feeding Time (2004)

Robert Webb: Robin

Quotes 

• Lilian : [reading aloud from a women's magazine]  "I'm a fifty three year-old woman living in North London. I have a very dry vagina and I'm frequently forgetful. I veer between hot sweats and shivering even when the central heating is on full and I've completely lost my sexual appetite. Am I going through the menopause?"

  Robin : Well, I'm no expert, Lilian, but I'd say you definitely are!

  Lilian : Not me! On the Problem Page!

  Robin : Oh... Right.

  Lilian : And of course she's menopausal! Fancy having to ask!

• Janet : I don't know how you've got the energy to exercise at lunchtime. I'm run ragged every morning...

  Robin : Snap!

  Sally : Well, there's jack-shit else to do round here...

  Lilian : No... Just that Bob the Builder ride outside the shop... Strictly for under-tens...

• Lilian : What does "shit happens" mean?

  Janet : Oh, can we *please* stop talking about... "Mm"!

  Sally : It means what it says... "Shit happens"... Everybody shits?

  Lilian : Tess Pownall couldn't... She had to have surgery...

  Robin : It means shit's a fact of life, there's no getting away from shit.

  Janet : There certainly isn't in here!

• Janet : Do you ever ask yourself, "why am I doing this"?

  Robin : All the time...

  Len : Only when I'm eating strawberries... Pips play havoc with my plate...