- Lilian: [reading aloud from a women's magazine] "I'm a fifty three year-old woman living in North London. I have a very dry vagina and I'm frequently forgetful. I veer between hot sweats and shivering even when the central heating is on full and I've completely lost my sexual appetite. Am I going through the menopause?"
- Robin: Well, I'm no expert, Lilian, but I'd say you definitely are!
- Lilian: Not me! On the Problem Page!
- Robin: Oh... Right.
- Lilian: And of course she's menopausal! Fancy having to ask!
- Lilian: What does "shit happens" mean?
- Janet: Oh, can we *please* stop talking about... "Mm"!
- Sally: It means what it says... "Shit happens"... Everybody shits?
- Lilian: Tess Pownall couldn't... She had to have surgery...
- Robin: It means shit's a fact of life, there's no getting away from shit.
- Janet: There certainly isn't in here!