The Sopranos (TV Series)
Another Toothpick (2001)
John Ventimiglia: Artie Bucco
Quotes
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Artie Bucco : [after exiting the kitchen of his restaurant, jokingly referring to Christopher sitting next to Tony] Wait a minute, who let this one in here?
Tony Soprano : [jokingly, as Artie walks to their table] Oh, Wolfgang fuckface
Christopher Moltisanti : [as Artie pats on his shoulders] Hey, Artie
Artie Bucco : [to Christopher] The man who stole her away
Christopher Moltisanti : [to Tony who looks confused, referring to her quitting her job] Adriana, she gave her notice
Tony Soprano : [sarcastically to Artie when he sits down at their table and pours himself a glass of wine] help yourself
Artie Bucco : [points to Christopher before he nods] You better be good to that girl... cocksucker
Tony Soprano : no wonder the food sucks: Your supposed to cook with the wine Artie
Artie Bucco : [referring to Adriana] Three years, best hostess I ever had
Artie Bucco : [points to Christopher] This... piece of shit steals her away
Tony Soprano : [noticing Christopher is becoming agitated] Artie, come on
Artie Bucco : [before playfully rubbing Christopher hair] Oh come on, he knows I'm breakin his balls
Artie Bucco : [to Christopher] Seriously though, if I'm you, I'd hire a food taster. You don't want to fuck with a chef, my friend
Christopher Moltisanti : [irritated] Why? You think you're the only one who knows how to swing a meat cleaver?
Artie Bucco : [does the Bras d'honneur gesture to Christopher] Fuck you
Tony Soprano : [implying to him he should stop insulting Christopher] Artie...
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Tony Soprano : [after breaking up a fight between Artie and Christopher, referring to Adriana] What the fuck is wrong with you? She's his fuckin fiancée
Artie Bucco : I loved her, I fuckin love her now
Tony Soprano : [surprised, laughs and pats Artie on his cheeks] Do me a favor: don't ever fuckin say that again to anybody... ever
Artie Bucco : oh, what am I? A joke?
Tony Soprano : [pats him on his head] Yeah, a stupid fuckin bald one, not to mention married?
Artie Bucco : Can I tell you something? She's a cunt... my fuckin wife. A girl like Ade, that's a woman. I still have my hair
Tony Soprano : She's a young girl, you're gonna be like Casey Kasem to her: it won't make a difference
Tony Soprano : [after kissing his head] Alright look, go in the back, get some coffee, go home and go the fuck to sleep
Artie Bucco : [while trying to walk away] I should go and apologize to Christopher
Tony Soprano : [holds him back] not right now: Let me talk to Chris... you go home
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Artie Bucco : [sitting at bar counter inside his restaurant, showing her the profits from the calculator receipts] When it's right... it's right. We said we'd save the wine for a big night: check out these numbers
Adriana La Cerva : [surprised at the amount] Oh my God, I knew we were busy
Artie Bucco : [while taking out two wine glasses] Not bad, eh?
Adriana La Cerva : I think I'm gonna pass: no wine tonight
Artie Bucco : A night like this, your gonna make me drink alone?
Artie Bucco : [jokingly touches her forehead to feel if she has a high temperature] What is it? You, ok?
Adriana La Cerva : Actually, you know I love it here and you're such a great boss... but Christopher doesn't want me working anymore, please don't be mad
Adriana La Cerva : No, I'm not mad at all, I'm happy for you
Adriana La Cerva : You know with this changing situation, you know how he is
Artie Bucco : [jokingly referring to his restaurant] You think I wanna be stuck in this "prison?"
Adriana La Cerva : I really wanted to give you my notice, I was supposed to tell you two weeks ago but is it alright if tonight's my last night?
Artie Bucco : Yeah, I guess I'll get Charmaine to cover
Adriana La Cerva : [relieved and kissing him on the cheek] I was so nervous on telling you. Christopher's coming to pick me up so I'm gonna go fix my makeup, ok?
Artie Bucco : [while she walks away, disappointed] Of course
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Artie Bucco : [while they carry groceries and enter the kitchen in their restaurant] Paul Newman started his own salad dressing. Now they're over a hundred million a year and you know people love my sauce
Charmaine Bucco : [sternly] you run a restaurant, what do you know about mass production?
Artie Bucco : I have an Associates degree in Business for God's sake, how are we gonna grow if we don't take risks?
Charmaine Bucco : [referring to Tony Soprano] going into business with a gangster isn't a "risk", that is a "guaranteed" disaster
Artie Bucco : it's legitimate. It's part of the "revitalization" for the city of Newark and it's gonna give tax breaks for reopening old factories
Charmaine Bucco : I'm trying to work here
Artie Bucco : fuck the vegetables, we have a chance to open our own company, our own line of products
Charmaine Bucco : then why is it called "Satriale's?"
Artie Bucco : the pork store has a customer base: name recognition
Charmaine Bucco : Vesuvio doesn't, your grandfather opened it up in the 30's
Artie Bucco : Tony talked to this product marketing research guy, products beginning with the letter V make people think of "Vagina", it's a turn on
Charmaine Bucco : [surprised] what did you just say?
Artie Bucco : Vaseline, etc., the whole thing is... can't you see the opportunities here?
Charmaine Bucco : yes, to be a "front" for a mobster
Artie Bucco : [irritated] Jesus Christ already
Charmaine Bucco : [referring to the line from act 1 scene 3 of Shakespeare's play, Hamlet] When are you gonna learn, huh? "Be happy to thy own self"