- Carmela Soprano: [Participating in Tony's therapy session for the first time] how are you feeling, from your accident?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Fine, thank you
- Carmela Soprano: Honestly, if you told me five years ago I'd be sitting here today
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Anthony's attacks, how do they make you feel?
- Carmela Soprano: Concerned of course, helpless, a little frustrated
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Maybe with your inability to help him?
- Carmela Soprano: To tell you the truth I was referring to your inability to help him
- Tony Soprano: She has helped me, what're you talking about?
- Carmela Soprano: You've been coming here for three years Tony and you still pass out on a regular basis
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [to Carmela] I understand your frustration. Did Anthony share with you any insights about his last panic attack?
- Tony Soprano: I told you remember? The gabagool and my mother when I was a little kid
- Carmela Soprano: Right, yes
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Do you think that there's anything in the present family "dynamic" that could serve as a trigger? Something in your dialog perhaps?
- Carmela Soprano: Excuse me?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I don't really know you that well, we're trying to get to root causes
- Tony Soprano: Like maybe you do things that may have some affect on me?
- Carmela Soprano: Oh, really?
- Tony Soprano: What? People affect each other in life
- Carmela Soprano: [to Dr. Melfi] oh I get it, is this how it works? You can't get any answers so you start looking for someone else to point the finger at?
- Tony Soprano: She's not saying anything, why are you getting so defensive?
- Carmela Soprano: You know what Tony? Maybe you should "explore" your own behavior, maybe you pass out because you're guilty over something. Maybe because of the fact that you stick your dick into anything with a pulse, you ever "explore" that as a root cause?
- Tony Soprano: [Sarcastically] very nice, that's very nice
- Carmela Soprano: Uh-huh
- Tony Soprano: [to Carmela] I told you months ago I broke it off with that Russian person
- Tony Soprano: [to Dr. Melfi] right?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Remains silent]
- Carmela Soprano: It's incredible, it's like people who smoke their entire lives then they sue the cigarette companies when they get cancer
- Tony Soprano: [Faces away from her] you know, you agreed to come here, oh forget it, this is fuckin ridiculous
- Carmela Soprano: Right, just sit there, silence, anger, then you pass out and then you blame the rest of the world
- Tony Soprano: [Sarcastically] yeah I love you too
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're both very angry.
- Tony Soprano: [while visiting Bryan Spatafore in the hospital, after greeting everybody] how's he doing?
- Gigi Cestone: I talked to him before. I think he squeezed my hand
- Vito Spatafore: His going to be a vegetable Tony, a fuckin retard
- Tony Soprano: No, his going to be fine
- Ralph Cifaretto: [after no one found his joke amusing] well look at the bright side, he wasn't that smart to begin with. Come on it's a tense situation a little levity huh?
- Tony Soprano: [to Jackie Jr] What're you doing here?
- Jackie Aprile Jr.: I can't visit my cousin?
- Vito Spatafore: [Referring to Mustang Sally] I want this cocksucker to bleed from his ass skipper
- Gigi Cestone: You got it
- Jackie Aprile Jr.: Just say the word: my fuckin pleasure
- Tony Soprano: [to Jackie Jr] Why don't you grab us some coffee?
- Jackie Aprile Jr.: Come on, are you kidding?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [after pulling his chair away from the hospital bed] better yet: Go to the ears, nose, and throat department: get your hearing checked
- Tony Soprano: All right, obviously you told the cops you don't know who did this?
- Vito Spatafore: I'm upset, but please... I know how to keep my mouth shut.
- Ralph Cifaretto: Unless of course there's a salami sandwich around.
- Gigi Cestone: [Turns round to confront Ralphie] what the fuck is wrong with you? We're trying to have a meeting here
- Ralph Cifaretto: Oh, two minutes in charge, he thinks his Lee Iacocca
- Tony Soprano: [while tapping his right shoulder, implying they shouldn't start a confrontation inside the hospital] come on, not here
- Tony Soprano: [to Vito] there's no beef between your brother and Mustang Sally?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Didn't owe him any money? Nothing like that?
- Vito Spatafore: No, nothing
- Ralph Cifaretto: [Referring to Mustang Sally] this kid's a whack job: Meadowlands last year remember? Threw a hot dog vendor off the second mezzanine, too many fuckin onions or some shit
- Tony Soprano: [to Gigi] you get him under control?
- Gigi Cestone: With extreme fuckin prejudice
- Tony Soprano: [to Paulie, after nodding to Gigi meaning his giving his approval to have Mustang Sally killed] we gotta to go
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri, Sr.: Ya, fuckin' greaseball, ya. C'mon, c'mon. Any more smart remarks?
- Petey: No Mr. Bacala! Please, please! No more!
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri, Sr.: [shoots Petey]
- Junior Soprano: Where's your father?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: He called, stopped by the bakery to pick up a short cake
- Junior Soprano: He never comes empty handed
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Did you talk to Tony?
- Junior Soprano: [Referring to his request to Junior to have someone else kill Mustang Sally because of his father's health and old age] no, I decided against it. I didn't even call him. You choose this life it comes with responsibility, no one knows that better than your old man
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I was asking for me
- Junior Soprano: Teddy Roosevelt once gave an entire speech with a bullet lodged in his chest. Some things are a matter of duty
- Junior Soprano: [while Bobby Sr. enters the kitchen coughing] are you alright?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Sr.: I'm fine, fuckin steps
- Junior Soprano: Here, sit down
- Junior Soprano: [after seeing blood Bobby Sr. coughed into his handkerchief] fuck, is that blood? Jesus Christ, call a fuckin doctor
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: It's the nodules in his lungs, it happens when his out of breath
- Junior Soprano: Is this what it comes down to?
- Junior Soprano: [to Bobby Jr] Get him some water for Christ's Sake. These doctors what're doing for him?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I don't know, whatever they do
- Junior Soprano: [to Bobby Sr] I want you to call John Kennedy, his the head of Oncology at St. Barnabas
- Bobby 'Bacala' Sr.: I'm happy with my guy
- Junior Soprano: What the fuck is he doing? Are you taking the chemo? Is he giving you oxygen therapy?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Sr.: The cure is worse than the fuckin illness
- Junior Soprano: [Referring to Tony giving the order to kill Mustang Sally] Cocksucker! This is an outrage! He can't have you clip someone in this condition
- Bobby 'Bacala' Sr.: I want to do it. Eight years sitting on my ass, it'll feel good being useful for a change
- Junior Soprano: This Sally's a tough kid, what if things don't go your way?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Sr.: They don't? They don't, what the fuck? I'm dead anyway
- Tony Soprano: Old man Bacala is ok with this, what'd you give a shit anyway?
- Junior Soprano: What is it with you? These power trips
- Tony Soprano: The fuck are you talking about?
- Junior Soprano: It has to be the old man? There's no other way?
- Tony Soprano: There's a million other ways but this one will work. It was Gigi's idea. I'm not cutting his balls off. Mustang Sally's MIA. Two days ago he reaches out to old man Bacala for help. Old man Bacala is his godfather, he can get close without arousing suspicion
- Junior Soprano: It still doesn't sit right
- Tony Soprano: His done it a thousand times
- Junior Soprano: His a sick old man
- Tony Soprano: Good, it'll give him something to live for
- Carmela Soprano: Two weeks ago? Why didn't you say anything? Did you report it at least?
- Meadow Soprano: Who? The rent-a-cops? Campus security is a joke
- Carmela Soprano: Don't you think they should know they have a thief "preying" on the school?
- Tony Soprano: [after entering the kitchen] Who? What're you talking about?
- Meadow Soprano: [avoiding to involve him in their conversation] Nothing
- Carmela Soprano: Her bike was stolen outside the library two weeks ago
- Tony Soprano: The ten-speed? Did you lock it up?
- Meadow Soprano: They used bolt cutters
- Carmela Soprano: Some black guy from the neighborhood: one of the other kids saw him
- Meadow Soprano: [irritated, noticing Tony smiling] What?
- Tony Soprano: Did I say anything?
- Tony Soprano: [while pouring himself a cup of orange juice, sarcastically] A black guy, imagine that
- Carmela Soprano: [implying to him not to start an argument with Meadow after the incident between Tony and Meadow's African American boyfriend] Tony...
- Tony Soprano: [sarcastically] You know, I can't believe it
- Meadow Soprano: I'm not listening to this shit
- Tony Soprano: Why don't you just admit it? You're thinking exactly what I'm thinking
- Carmela Soprano: Tony, what did I say?
- Tony Soprano: What is it my fault, you're twice as likely to get robbed by a black?
- Meadow Soprano: [angrily] That is so fucking racist
- Tony Soprano: It happens to be a fact
- Meadow Soprano: [referring to the former Grand Wizard of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan] Or who? David Duke?
- Tony Soprano: No, try the FBI, I saw it on TV
- Meadow Soprano: Oh, so now you're quoting the FBI?
- Tony Soprano: I'm just telling you what I heard
- Carmela Soprano: Tony, stop, now
- Tony Soprano: Why?
- Meadow Soprano: For your information, crime is an economic issue: not a racial one. White or African American, you're more likely to steal if you're in a lower income bracket which most African Americans are
- Tony Soprano: Good, then next time, you'll feel better when the next one takes your car stereo
- Meadow Soprano: [raises her voice] You are such a hypocrite
- Tony Soprano: [raises his voice] This is what I've been trying to tell you all along: stay with your own people
- Assemblyman Zellman: Restaurants, stores, slips for luxury yachts
- Tony Soprano: [to Johnny] We'll call my plumber at the electrical unions: the steel, the brickwork, it's all yours
- Johnny Sack: We need to have a conversation about Local 187
- Assemblyman Zellman: [to Johnny] You gotta come by the office, see the scale model, the guy even makes little people walking on the street
- Johnny Sack: [jokingly] Fuckin Newark, they got little hookers giving little blowjobs?
- Johnny Sack: [stands up] I gotta go take a leak
- Assemblyman Zellman: So, I got a call from Eddie Volar at the PBA: your "friend", the cop? His bitching about losing his overtime. His got some black officer squad looking into his case
- Tony Soprano: oh, yeah?
- Assemblyman Zellman: If you want, I can get it "squashed", get him reassigned
- Tony Soprano: [after thinking it over] You know what? Fuck him, cocksucker got what he deserved
- Junior Soprano: What's with you? All day "gloomy Gus"
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I'm sorry, it's my father
- Junior Soprano: [Referring to his lung cancer] his a tough man he'll beat the fuckin thing
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: It's not the cancer, it's Tony
- Junior Soprano: Tony? What about him? Stop speaking in nanograms
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: He Okayed my dad to do the hit on Mustang Sally
- Junior Soprano: The prick put the Spatafore kid in a coma
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Fuck Sally. I'm worried about it's my father he can't do this, his been retired for seven years
- Junior Soprano: What's this? We're in the navy?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: It's not that, this was a proud man. His over the other night I had to help him off the toilet because his so weak
- Junior Soprano: [while Bobby cries] will you shut the fuck up with toilets? All this morbidity. I'm sorry, your right, at this point in a man's life to have him do something like this?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: You know I've never asked you for anything, you can tell him I'll do it myself if he wants
- Junior Soprano: Fuck what he wants. I'm still the boss of this family
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Your right. I'm sorry
- Junior Soprano: Stop your crying I'll tell him. Your making me fuckin depressed now
- Artie Bucco: [after exiting the kitchen of his restaurant, jokingly referring to Christopher sitting next to Tony] Wait a minute, who let this one in here?
- Tony Soprano: [jokingly, as Artie walks to their table] Oh, Wolfgang fuckface
- Christopher Moltisanti: [as Artie pats on his shoulders] Hey, Artie
- Artie Bucco: [to Christopher] The man who stole her away
- Christopher Moltisanti: [to Tony who looks confused, referring to her quitting her job] Adriana, she gave her notice
- Tony Soprano: [sarcastically to Artie when he sits down at their table and pours himself a glass of wine] help yourself
- Artie Bucco: [points to Christopher before he nods] You better be good to that girl... cocksucker
- Tony Soprano: no wonder the food sucks: Your supposed to cook with the wine Artie
- Artie Bucco: [referring to Adriana] Three years, best hostess I ever had
- Artie Bucco: [points to Christopher] This... piece of shit steals her away
- Tony Soprano: [noticing Christopher is becoming agitated] Artie, come on
- Artie Bucco: [before playfully rubbing Christopher hair] Oh come on, he knows I'm breakin his balls
- Artie Bucco: [to Christopher] Seriously though, if I'm you, I'd hire a food taster. You don't want to fuck with a chef, my friend
- Christopher Moltisanti: [irritated] Why? You think you're the only one who knows how to swing a meat cleaver?
- Artie Bucco: [does the Bras d'honneur gesture to Christopher] Fuck you
- Tony Soprano: [implying to him he should stop insulting Christopher] Artie...
- Tony Soprano: [after breaking up a fight between Artie and Christopher, referring to Adriana] What the fuck is wrong with you? She's his fuckin fiancée
- Artie Bucco: I loved her, I fuckin love her now
- Tony Soprano: [surprised, laughs and pats Artie on his cheeks] Do me a favor: don't ever fuckin say that again to anybody... ever
- Artie Bucco: oh, what am I? A joke?
- Tony Soprano: [pats him on his head] Yeah, a stupid fuckin bald one, not to mention married?
- Artie Bucco: Can I tell you something? She's a cunt... my fuckin wife. A girl like Ade, that's a woman. I still have my hair
- Tony Soprano: She's a young girl, you're gonna be like Casey Kasem to her: it won't make a difference
- Tony Soprano: [after kissing his head] Alright look, go in the back, get some coffee, go home and go the fuck to sleep
- Artie Bucco: [while trying to walk away] I should go and apologize to Christopher
- Tony Soprano: [holds him back] not right now: Let me talk to Chris... you go home
- Assemblyman Zellman: [over the phone] You paged me?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, listen, I ran into that guy, the traffic cop
- Assemblyman Zellman: It's done: it's already taken care of
- Tony Soprano: I know, I know. It's just... I don't know, you got him busted off the street?
- Assemblyman Zellman: Fuck him, isn't that what you wanted?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah... but it's kind of harsh no?
- Assemblyman Zellman: I spoke to his unit commander: nobody likes the guy, he's a God damn rabble rouser
- Tony Soprano: Maybe but... I don't know
- Assemblyman Zellman: Believe me, it goes beyond you. The guy's depressed or something: his all wound up. They think he might have some serious mental problems
- Artie Bucco: [sitting at bar counter inside his restaurant, showing her the profits from the calculator receipts] When it's right... it's right. We said we'd save the wine for a big night: check out these numbers
- Adriana La Cerva: [surprised at the amount] Oh my God, I knew we were busy
- Artie Bucco: [while taking out two wine glasses] Not bad, eh?
- Adriana La Cerva: I think I'm gonna pass: no wine tonight
- Artie Bucco: A night like this, your gonna make me drink alone?
- Artie Bucco: [jokingly touches her forehead to feel if she has a high temperature] What is it? You, ok?
- Adriana La Cerva: Actually, you know I love it here and you're such a great boss... but Christopher doesn't want me working anymore, please don't be mad
- Adriana La Cerva: No, I'm not mad at all, I'm happy for you
- Adriana La Cerva: You know with this changing situation, you know how he is
- Artie Bucco: [jokingly referring to his restaurant] You think I wanna be stuck in this "prison?"
- Adriana La Cerva: I really wanted to give you my notice, I was supposed to tell you two weeks ago but is it alright if tonight's my last night?
- Artie Bucco: Yeah, I guess I'll get Charmaine to cover
- Adriana La Cerva: [relieved and kissing him on the cheek] I was so nervous on telling you. Christopher's coming to pick me up so I'm gonna go fix my makeup, ok?
- Artie Bucco: [while she walks away, disappointed] Of course
- Artie Bucco: [while they carry groceries and enter the kitchen in their restaurant] Paul Newman started his own salad dressing. Now they're over a hundred million a year and you know people love my sauce
- Charmaine Bucco: [sternly] you run a restaurant, what do you know about mass production?
- Artie Bucco: I have an Associates degree in Business for God's sake, how are we gonna grow if we don't take risks?
- Charmaine Bucco: [referring to Tony Soprano] going into business with a gangster isn't a "risk", that is a "guaranteed" disaster
- Artie Bucco: it's legitimate. It's part of the "revitalization" for the city of Newark and it's gonna give tax breaks for reopening old factories
- Charmaine Bucco: I'm trying to work here
- Artie Bucco: fuck the vegetables, we have a chance to open our own company, our own line of products
- Charmaine Bucco: then why is it called "Satriale's?"
- Artie Bucco: the pork store has a customer base: name recognition
- Charmaine Bucco: Vesuvio doesn't, your grandfather opened it up in the 30's
- Artie Bucco: Tony talked to this product marketing research guy, products beginning with the letter V make people think of "Vagina", it's a turn on
- Charmaine Bucco: [surprised] what did you just say?
- Artie Bucco: Vaseline, etc., the whole thing is... can't you see the opportunities here?
- Charmaine Bucco: yes, to be a "front" for a mobster
- Artie Bucco: [irritated] Jesus Christ already
- Charmaine Bucco: [referring to the line from act 1 scene 3 of Shakespeare's play, Hamlet] When are you gonna learn, huh? "Be happy to thy own self"
- Junior Soprano: [referring to Junior telling Tony not to have Bobby 'Bacala' Sr. kill Mustang Sally] All the fuckin luck, I told him he shouldn't do it
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I had to go all the way to Staten Island to identify him
- Junior Soprano: He's a cold-hearted prick: that nephew of mine
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: [beginning to cry] Cocksuckers didn't even clean him up... he still had bits of glass from the windshield in his hair
- Junior Soprano: What was he? Seventy-one?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I don't know, sixty-eight
- Junior Soprano: So, what did they say? What was the cause of death?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Who? What do you mean?
- Junior Soprano: The morgue: The cause of death, was it the cancer or the accident? How advanced was the metathesis?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: All due respect, what'd you care about the details? All this technical shit
- Junior Soprano: Your right, the man's passed on. We should let him rest in peace. He was a good man your father, a good friend