- [Watching an elephant have sex with a pig]
- Chef: Now I know how all those white women must have felt.
- Cartman: If some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like, "Hey. Why don't you stop... dressing me up like a mailman... a-and making me dance for you... while you go and... smoke crack in your bedroom... and have sex with... some guy... I don't even know. On my dad's bed."
- [Long pause]
- Stan: Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?
- Cartman: I'm just saying you're just a little wuss, that's all.
- Eric Cartman: I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anything, I'd be like, EH. You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie. Eh, woman, you shut your mouth, and make babies.
- Dr. Mephesto: I'm sorry kids, but pig and elephant DNA just won't splice. Haven't you ever heard that song by Loverboy?
- Kyle Broflovski: What song is that?
- Dr. Mephesto: [singing] Do do do do, Pig and elephant DNA just won't splice!
- [Teaching the children about genetic engineering]
- Mr. Garrison: Genetic engineering is a way to fix God's horrible mistakes, like German people.