- [Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny are waiting by the school bus stop. This scene is a rehash of the series' first episode "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe."]
- Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny: [singing] School days, school days, teacher's golden rule days...
- [Ike jumps in next to Kyle]
- Kyle: Ah, damn it!
- Cartman: What?
- Kyle: My God-damned little brother's trying to follow me to school, again!
- Ike Broflovski: Suck my balls.
- Kyle: No, Ike. You can't come to school with me!
- Cartman: Yeah! Go home, you little dildo!
- Kyle: Dude, for the last time, don't call my brother a dildo!
- Cartman: Alright, go home, you little semen-puking asshole dickhead!
- [as the boys laugh, Kyle picks up Ike by the legs and swings him sideways, whacking Cartman in the face]
- Stan: Dude, sweet!
- Kyle: Yeah, check it out!
- [Puts Ike down]
- Kyle: Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
- Ike Broflovski: Don't kick the God-damned baby!
- Kyle: Kick the baby!
- [Kyle kicks Ike to the other side of the street]
- Cartman: Kyle, I swear, if I didn't have a guy's hand up my ass right now, I'd leap across the room and kick you in the nuts.
- Proctologist: [diagnosing Cartman] Wait, what's this?
- [a 20-meter-wide satellite dish deploys from Cartman's rectum]
- Kyle: Are you okay?
- Eric Cartman: Dude. You know that feeling when you take a huge dump? Awesome!
- Chef: Well, doctor?
- Proctologist: I've never quite seen this before, uh, p - perhaps he just needs some hemmorhoid cream.
- [the satellite dish violently withdraws back inside Cartman]
- Stan: You all right?
- Eric Cartman: You know that feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up inside your ass? NO, I'M NOT ALL RIGHT!