South Park (TV Series)

Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000 (2000)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Mr. Mackey, Agent Keane, TV Announcer, Defendant, Judge, Bailiff, Tom the News Reader, Greg Nimmens, Policeman #2, Policeman #3, Guard #2, Clyde, Child with Visitor #1, Governor's Aide, Guard #4

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kyle Broflovski : Hey, fat-ass, how's prison?

  Eric Cartman : Well, it sucks balls, what do you think?

  Stan Marsh : Cartman, why the hell did you have to commit a hate crime? We're gonna lose to girls because of you!

  Kyle Broflovski : Yeah, so you gotta bust out of here.

  [whispering] 

  Kyle Broflovski : So, we made you this cake. There's an ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.

  Eric Cartman : A what?

  Kyle Broflovski : An ail-nay ile-fay.

  Eric Cartman : What's that?

  Kyle Broflovski : Listen, aggot-fay! An ail-nay ile-fay so you can eak-bray out of ison-pray!

  Stan Marsh : Yeah, you stupid umbass-day!

  Eric Cartman : I'd love to eat a cake, you guys, but they don't let us take anything back to the cells from here.

  Kyle Broflovski : They on't-day? Why the ell-hay ot-nay? It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay to ake-bay this oddamn-gay ake-cay and now we're otally-tay ewed-scray!

  Stan Marsh : [confused]  ... yeah.

• Eric Cartman : [having been found guilty of a hate crime, Cartman knocks on Kenny's door, panicked]  Kenny! Kenny, you have to get me out of town!

  Kenny McCormick : [muffled, but audible]  What the fuck for?

  Eric Cartman : They're gonna put me in jail for a hate crime! You have to take me to Mexico!

  Kenny McCormick : [muffled, but audible]  Mexico? How the fuck am I gonna get you to Mexico?

  Eric Cartman : [hits Kenny]  Calm down, Kenny!

  Kenny McCormick : [muffled]  Hey!

  [rubs the area that Cartman hit] 

  Eric Cartman : You still have that battery powered toy truck you got last Christmas?

  Kenny McCormick : [muffled]  Yea...

  Eric Cartman : Well, come on! I don't have much time!

• Judge : I am making an example of you to send a message out to people everywhere that if you want to hurt another human being, you'd better make damn sure they're the same color as you.

• Eric Cartman : [Cartman and Kenny are being chased by police cruisers]  Dammit, Kenny! Can't this thing go any faster?

  Kenny McCormick : [muffled]  Why don't you keep your head down?