- Gerald Brofloski: You see son, fads come and go. And this "Chinpokomon" is nothing more than a fad. You don't have to be a part of it. In fact, you can make an even stronger statement by saying to your peers, "I'm not going to be a part of this fad because I'm an individual." Do you understand?
- Kyle: Yes, yes I do, Dad. Now let me tell you how it works in the real world. In the real world, I can either get a Chinpokomon, or be the only kid without one, which singles me out, and causes the other kids to make fun of me and kick my ass.
- Gerald Brofloski: Hmm... good point. Here's ten dollars.
- Stan Marsh: [after watching the Alabama Man commercial] Gay!
- Cartman: Totally gay!
- Kyle: Liberace gay!
- [the researcher write the word "GAY" on the clipboard and furiously underlines it twice]
- Woman in Live Action Commercial: [as the boys play the Chinpokomon video game] Try to bomb the harbor!
- Narrator: [doing a voice-over for the "Alabama Man" commercial] When his wife complains and asks him where he's been, Alabama Man busts her lip open!
- Boy #1 in Commercial: Shut up, bitch!
- [he knocks the wife doll down]
- Boy #2 in Commercial: Wow!
- Sharon: Tell them how to bring those sons of bitches down!
- Randy Marsh: What are you doing?
- Sharon Marsh: I'm watching one of Stanley's Chinpokomon video tapes.
- Randy Marsh: Why?
- Sharon Marsh: Our son loves this show, Randy, so I think it's important that we watch it to see if it's teaching him good moral values.
- [Hours later, Randy and Sharon watch a battle scene in disbelief]
- Sharon Marsh: This doesn't make sense. Are those stupid things supposed to be animals or robots or what?
- Randy Marsh: I don't know, but I suddenly kinda wanna own them all.
- Sharon Marsh: Randy, we can't allow our son to watch this stuff!
- Randy Marsh: Well, it's not like it's vulgar or violent.
- Sharon Marsh: No, but it's incredibly stupid, and that could be worse on a child's mind than any vulgarity or violence. Remember what Battle of the Network Stars did to an entire generation.
- Randy Marsh: [solemnly] My God, you're right.