SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

The Secret Box/Band Geeks (2001)

Bill Fagerbakke: Patrick Star

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Squidward is trying to start a marching band] 

  Squidward : OK now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?

  Plankton : Do instruments of torture count?

  Squidward : No.

  Patrick : Is mayonnaise an instrument?

  Squidward : No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

  [Patrick raises his hand again] 

  Squidward : Horseradish is not an instrument either.

  [Patrick lowers his hand] 

• [Squidward tries to start a marching band] 

  Squidward : Let's just try stepping in rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [raises his hand]  Is this the part where we start kicking?

  Squidward : No, SpongeBob. That's a chorus line.

  Patrick : Kicking? Oh, I wanna do some kicking!

  [Patrick kicks Sandy] 

  Sandy Cheeks : Why, you...

  [fights Patrick; they tumble outside, and after a while, Patrick peeks his head through the door] 

  Patrick : Whoever is the owner of a white sedan, you left your lights on.

  [Patrick walks in and takes his seat; his head has been pulled through his trombone, and he makes a trombone sound as he walks] 

• [the Bikini Bottom Super Band is playing to a stadium of humans] 

  Patrick : Those are some ugly looking fish.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Maybe we're near one of those toxic waste dumps.

  Mr. Krabs : I think I'm going to be sick.

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Would you like to hear one of my secrets?

  Patrick : Do I?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Let's see... uh, did you know that you're my best friend?

  Patrick : No... way! Tell me another secret.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Well, secretly, I'm a little bit naive.

  Patrick : Wow! I'll never look at you the same way again.

• Patrick : That's it! You have crossed the line! As of right now, this friendship is over!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Really?

  Patrick : No, you can look inside if you really want to.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, boy! this is one of the greatest moments of my life.

  [Looks inside] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Huh?

  Patrick : Well, what did I tell you? Isn't it great?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : It's just a piece of string.

  Patrick : A secret string!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Boy, when you're right, you're right. That is some secret box you got there. Well, good night, Patrick.

  Patrick : Good night, SpongeBob.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Boy, I should have known. It was just a piece of string all along. Wait 'till I tell Gary.

  Patrick : [Laughs]  Too bad SpongeBob didn't pull on the secret string, opening the secret compartment of my secret box, revealing one embarrasing snapshot of SpongeBob at the Christmas party! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Merry Christmas, SpongeBob!

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Gee, Patrick sure is a heavy sleeper.

  Patrick : [Wakes up]  Huh? Who said that? Who's there?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Uh...

  Patrick : It's the Clam Burglar! And he's stealing my secret box!

  [he runs up to SpongeBob] 

  Patrick : Hand over the goods, Secret Box Bandit, and prepare for the most unpleasant pillow fight of your life!

  [He cocks his pillow like a gun] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Wait, wait, wait, Patrick! Stop! It's me, SpongeBob!

  [Unmasks] 

• Squidward : Well, you did it. You took my one chance of happiness... and crushed it! Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-size pieces! I really had expected better of you people.

  [He starts crying] 

  Squidward : I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all... died in a marching accident. So, thanks. Thanks for nothing!

  [Squidward leaves with a heavy heart. A lengthy silence] 

  Patrick : You're welcome.

• Patrick : Whoever's the owner of the white sedan... you left your lights on.