SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Born Again Krabs/I Had an Accident (2003)

Tom Kenny: SpongeBob SquarePants, Gary, Jellyfish, Narrator, Old Fish, Pinch-o-Matic

Quotes 

• SpongeBob : From now on I am on round the clock butt patrol.

• SpongeBob SquarePants : [snowboarding]  Hey, Sandy! Watch me do the Grouchy Squidward.

  Squidward : Stop naming moves after me.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [imitating Squidward]  Everybody's an idiot except me.

  Squidward : Well, it's true.

• [last lines] 

  SpongeBob : [now ripped in half by the gorilla]  Patrick? Sandy?

  Patrick , Sandy Cheeks : [in unison, tied in a sack]  Yes, SpongeBob?

  SpongeBob : I'm sorry I caused all this. I'm not scared of going outside anymore, but I'm terrifed of gorillas now.

  Sandy Cheeks : Oh, that's alright, SpongeBob. Us too.

  SpongeBob : You know what I don't understand though?

  SpongeBob : [other half]  What?

  SpongeBob : What's a gorilla doing underwater in the first place?

  [the gorilla's eyes widen up in shock] 

  Gorilla : [nervously]  Well, that's funny, you should - I mean, you see that - George, they're onto us!

  George : Let's get out of here!

  [the gorilla and the horse run away into the sunset as Sandy, Patrick, and SpongeBob watch them, a family is watching this as the mom and dad look at each other, the dad shuts off the TV as the screen goes to black] 

• The Flying Dutchman : OK Krabs, I'll let you stay. But first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between Spongebob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take?

  Mr. Krabs : That depends. How much money we talking about?

  SpongeBob : Mr Krabs?

  The Flying Dutchman : 62 cents.

  Mr. Krabs : I'll take the money.

  SpongeBob : Mr Krabs!

• Mr. Krabs : Why's it in a cage?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Because it growled at me.

  [Krabby Patty growls] 

• [SpongeBob is falling to the ground] 

  Sandy Cheeks : SpongeBob! Land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall!

  SpongeBob : [makes himself right-side up and takes off his pants]  Like this?

  Patrick : No, your other bottom!

  Sandy Cheeks : [annoyed]  Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?

  Patrick : Not until 4.

  [SpongeBob crashes to the ground, where his rear has been shattered into hundreds of pieces] 

  Sandy Cheeks : Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

  Patrick : Do it again! I wasn't looking!

• Doctor : Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus has made a full recovery.

  SpongeBob : My what has a what now?

  Doctor : Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing. It took 20 hours to put it all back together. We actually ran out of staples, so we had to use a glue stick. Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky luck boy. But next time I want you to be more careful. One more injury like that, and you could end up like that poor creature there, in the iron butt.

  Tom : Oh, man. It itches.

• [Mr. Krabs cries as he mistakenly traded SpongeBob to the Flying Dutchman] 

  The Flying Dutchman : [angry]  Here, take him back!

  Mr. Krabs : You heard what I said about the money?

  The Flying Dutchman : Heard what you said? I couldn't hear myself thinking with this one around. I only had him for 30 seconds! And it's jellyfishing this and Mermaid Man that!

  [while he's speaking, we get a flashback to moments before. The Flying Dutchman is hovering outside Davy Jones' locker, with SpongeBob standing on his open palm and chattering away] 

  SpongeBob : Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy merchandise were the closest thing to everything. I love jellyfishing, you should love jellyfishing. You should come some time and bring your own net!

  The Flying Dutchman : Why, not giving him back is a fate worse than death! He's your problem now!

  [He disappears laughing furiously] 

• The Flying Dutchman : Who dares back sass the Flying Dutchman?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : That would be me, SpongeBob Back-sassPants!

• SpongeBob SquarePants : That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was the one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor, and so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again.

  Sandy Cheeks : That's crazy talk!

  Patrick : That's not crazy talk! This is crazy talk!

  [He starts babbling incoherently. Sandy pounds his head into his body to make him shut up] 

  Patrick : Sorry.

• Squidward : Gee, Mr. Krabs, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well.

  Mr. Krabs : Oh, it's just a bad dream. I'll wake up soon.

  [SpongeBob and Squidward share worried glances] 

  Squidward : Uh... "dream"?

  Mr. Krabs : Sure. I'm still in the hospital sleeping like a baby!

  SpongeBob : Umm, you checked out of the hospital this morning.

  Squidward : Here's the bill.

  Mr. Krabs : You mean... I'm awake?

  [He screams]