Star Trek: Voyager (TV Series)

Author, Author (2001)

Robert Picardo: The Doctor, EMH Mark I

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Doctor : [from his introduction]  You're about to take part in a thrilling first-person narrative. You will take on the role of an Emergency Medical Hologram, the Chief Medical Officer aboard the Starship Vortex.

  Tom Paris : "Vortex?"

  The Doctor : As our story begins, an anomaly has hurled your ship thousands of light years across the galaxy. Your mission: to uphold your medical and ethical standards, as you struggle against the crew's bigotry and intolerance. Persons with vascular disorders should consult a physician before running this program.

• Holographic Tom Paris : [from Paris's introduction]  You are about to embark on a remarkable journey. You will take on the role of a medical assistant aboard the Starship Voyeur.

  The Doctor : "Voyeur?"

  Holographic Tom Paris : Your job will be to assist the Chief Medical Officer and learn to tolerate his overbearing behavior and obnoxious bedside manner. Remember: patience is a virtue.

• Tom Paris : Your program's about as subtle as a... Ferengi mating dance.

  The Doctor : My program is a serious attempt at social commentary. Yours is an insulting farce! You...

  [he looks around and continues with lower voice] 

  The Doctor : ...had me drugging a patient, and taking advantage of her!

  Tom Paris : Don't be ridiculous, that character is not you! For one thing, he has much more hair.

• Tom Paris : Listen, I don't care if the whole Alpha Quadrant mistakes me for Lieutenant Marseilles. What bothers me is that you think that's what I'm like.

  The Doctor : Obviously, you're nothing like Marseilles. He's self-indulgent, immature.

  Tom Paris : And how would you describe me?

  The Doctor : Well, you're a married man, with a child on the way. A lot of responsibilities.

  Tom Paris : I'm surprised you noticed. You know, I thought I'd begun to earn your respect. Maybe I was wrong.

• The Doctor : It's the crew's reputations that are at risk.

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : I'm not so sure. I think it's your reputation that's on the line here. You have the same rights as every other member of this crew, and I'm not going to let this publisher say otherwise.

• [last lines] 

  First EMH Mark I : Time for your diagnostic. Report to the holo-lab.

  Second EMH Mark I : I know the routine.

  First EMH Mark I : And... while you're there, do yourself a favor. Ask the operator to run program 47 beta.

  Second EMH Mark I : Why? What is it?

  First EMH Mark I : It's called "Photons Be Free." It's quite provocative.

• Tom Paris : [about the Doctor's holo-program]  What's it called?

  The Doctor : "Photons Be Free."

  Tom Paris : Catchy.

• The Doctor : My publisher assures me he won't distribute the program until he receives the revised version.

  B'Elanna Torres : That must be the one where we assimilate the Borg and take over the quadrant.

• The Doctor : I could use your help with the rewrites.

  Tom Paris : Really? You realize, as a writer, I'm a little unsophisticated.

  The Doctor : No. I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'lowbrow'.

• [from Paris's holo-story] 

  EMH Mark I : [with mock sympathy]  Awww! What seems to be the trouble, One of Three?

  Two of Three : I'm Two of Three.

  EMH Mark I : Sorry.

  EMH Mark I : [to the Doctor]  They're triplets, you know?

  Two of Three : It hurts when I do this.

  EMH Mark I : The don't do it.

• The Doctor : [the Doctor finds that Tom has revised his holonovel] 

  EMH Mark I : When I tell you your shift begins at 0800, that doesn't mean you can stroll in here at 0800 and twenty-four seconds. Do you understand me, Ensign?

  The Doctor : This is outrageous.

  EMH Mark I : [lifting a golf iron]  What's outrageous is that I'm going to miss my tee time. Now, come along.

• The Doctor : I'm sorry my work offends you, but if the price of expressing myself is having to suffer the scorn of a few colleagues, so be it.

• The Doctor : What you've experienced, dear protagonist, is a work of fiction, but like all fiction, it has elements of truth. I hope you now have a better understanding of the struggles holograms must endure in a world controlled... by organics.

  Voyager Computer : End of program.

• [first lines] 

  The Doctor : In the beginning, there is darkness, the emptiness of a matrix waiting for the light. Then, a single photon flares into existence, then another. Soon, thousands more. Optronic pathways connect, subroutines emerge from the chaos, and a holographic consciousness is born. I awaken into this world fully programed, yet completely innocent, unaware of the hardships I'll endure, or the great potential I will one day fulfill. Computer, save revisions and open Chapter One.

• Tom Paris : You set your story on a starship lost in the Delta Quadrant!

  The Doctor : What would you have me write about, palace Intrigue on the Klingon Homeworld?

• [Publisher Broht has refused to recall the copies of the Doctor's holo-program, which he has distributed prematurely] 

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : I don't see that you have a choice, Mr. Broht. Authors have rights.

  Arden Broht : Not in this case.

  The Doctor : What do you mean?

  Arden Broht : The Doctor is a hologram.

  The Doctor : So?

  Arden Broht : According to Federation law, holograms *have* no rights.

• The Doctor : It's just frustrating to be told I have no more legal standing than a replicator.

• The Doctor : Do you think I'll be able to find another publisher?

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : There's one thing I've learned about you, Doctor, is that you can do just about anything you set your mind to.