Star Trek: Voyager (TV Series)

The Thaw (1996)

Michael McKean: The Clown

Photos 

Quotes 

• Clown : How am I supposed to negotiate if I don't know what you're thinking?

  The Doctor : I have a very trustworthy face.

• Clown : You show remarkable trust, Captain. How could you be so sure I would keep my word?

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : I've known fear. It's a very healthy thing, most of the time. You warn us of danger, remind us of our limits, protect us from carelessness. I've learned to trust fear.

  Clown : Finally someone who appreciates me! Am I blushing?

• [last lines] 

  Clown : What will become of us? Of me?

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : Like all fear, you eventually... vanish.

  Clown : I'm afraid.

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : [whispers]  I know.

  Clown : Drat.

• Clown : Well, you certainly know how to bring a party to a halt.

  The Doctor : I don't get out very much.

• Clown : This is my world! My festival! And you're here without an invitation.

• Clown : [of Janeway]  Who is SHE to tell me what I have to do?

  The Doctor : She's the one out there with the off switch in her hand.

• Clown : Why talk when we can dance?

• [the crew on Voyager has failed to shut down the Clown's environment] 

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : We've lost.

  Clown : We've won! We've won! We've won! Start the music! Start the music! Celebration! Celebration! Celebration!

• Captain Kathryn Janeway : Would you be honest with me?

  Clown : Fear is the most honest of all emotions, Captain.

• Captain Kathryn Janeway : I'm not Captain Janeway.

  Clown : Could have fooled me.

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : I'm afraid I did.

• Captain Kathryn Janeway : As I understand it, it takes a few minutes before you become aware of my thoughts. Is that true?

  Clown : An eternity of anticipation!

  Captain Kathryn Janeway : And then what happens?

  Clown : And then the fun begins.

• [Kim and Torres walk through a throng of artists and jugglers] 

  Ensign Harry Kim : Uh... excuse me. We're trying to find some friends.

  Clown : Well, that shouldn't be difficult. We're all friends here.

• Clown : [to Harry and B'Elanna]  If you leave, one of them will die! One of them will die. Try it and see. If you leave...

  [points at the Kohl physician] 

  Clown : ...he dies.

  Viorsa : He can do it. He's already killed two of our colleagues.

  Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres : How is that possible?

  Clown : I cut off their heads.

  Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres : But none of this is real!

  Clown : Of course it's real. It's as real as a nightmare.

  Ensign Harry Kim : The two we found dead both suffered from massive heart attacks.

  Clown : Heart attack. Now, what might cause a heart attack? Hmm. Unmanageable stress, perhaps? Unmanageable fear? The fear of losing a head, perhaps?

  Ensign Harry Kim : You scared them to death.

  [the Clown takes a bow] 

• Clown : [the Clown surprises Harry and the Kohl survivors by suddenly appearing in front of them]  Thinking about escape, are we, Harry? Naughty, naughty. I don't like those thoughts. We're gonna have to do something about them.

  Programmer : He's new. He can't help thinking about getting out.

  Clown : He can! You don't think about it anymore!

  [something occurs to him] 

  Clown : Oh, but he's new... and you're old. New and old. Old and... new. Well, then the answer is to simply... make you old, Harry.

  [laughs evilly at Harry, transformed into a feeble old man] 

  Clown : Are you afraid of growing old, Harry? Is that what you fear? Being cared for by nurses?

  Little Woman : [dressed like a nurse and with a medicine bottle, she puts a spoon to Harry's mouth]  Time for your medicine.

  Clown : You don't like being helpless, do you Harry? You like to take care of yourself. Yes, I know how you hate to feel like the baby on the crew.

  [laughs hysterically at Harry, now transformed into a crying baby that he cradles in his arms] 

  Clown : Oh-ho-ho... Ohh, what's the matter, Harry? Oh, does my costume frighten you, huh? Oh-ho-ho...

  Spectre : [leans into Harry's face]  Coochie-coo.

  Clown : He-he-he, yeah... Oh, look at little Harry fly.

  [the Clown starts throwing a bawling Harry up and down like a plaything] 

  Clown : Whew! Whew, there he goes! Whew! Whee!

  [laughs then loses interest] 

  Clown : All right, that's enough.

  [Harry's suddenly back to being an adult and the Clown starts cackling again] 

  Ensign Harry Kim : This is not reality. It's an illusion.

  Clown : When your only reality is an illusion, then illusion is a reality.

  [snaps a finger] 

  Ensign Harry Kim : Like the man said... "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

  Clown : N'aw, I thought we were gonna be friends. Didn't want to do this, Harry.

  [off-screen someone places surgical gloves on the Clown] 

  Clown : No, I didn't want to bring this up in front of the others, but, uh, I know what really scares you. I know when you were nine, your parents took you to that colony - radiation disaster - humanitarian mission. You visited a hospital. You remember.

  [laughs] 

  Ensign Harry Kim : [with realization]  No.

  Clown : [as some of the clowns wheel a gurney in and bundle Harry onto it]  You wandered off by yourself where you weren't supposed to be.

  Ensign Harry Kim : [to himself while the clowns tie Harry down with straps and manacles]  The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

  Clown : You saw people and things you weren't supposed to see - sick and dying. Keep repeating "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

  [he leads the other clowns to repeat, like a demented chorus] 

  Clown : And how about, "There's no place like home. There's nooo place like home."

  [laughs manically as Harry can't hide his terror anymore] 

  Clown : Try clicking your heels together three times. Oh, but your legs are restrained, aren't they, just like that little girl you saw on the operating table?

  [the others place a surgical mask on the Clown and hand him a scalpel] 

  Clown : The doctor called for a scalpel... she looked at you... and her face filled with fear. Fear. Fear. Fear. DO YOU REMEMBER?

  [Harry screams his lungs out as the Clown prepares to cut an incision through his chest] 

• Spectre : Bravo! Bravo!

  Clown : Go away! I want to be alone.

  Spectre : You're RUINING the festival.

  Little Woman : Don't be a poop!

  Clown : I CAN'T help it! I'm feeling sorry for myself.

  Little Woman : Well, don't take it out on us.

  Spectre : Take it out on THEM.

  Clown : [glancing at Harry and the hostages]  You people... you wonderful people... my friends, you do know how to make a man feel better, don't you? Okay, then, what shall we play?