- Raymond 'Ray' Gunne: I'm Christian Bocher. I'm portraying the character of Raymond Gunne, who portrays the character of Dr. Levant which is based on the character, uh, Daniel Jackson, portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader in the feature film.
- Yolanda Reese: It says that I am out of phase, that I can pass my hand through solid matter. That I can walk through walls?
- Director: Yeah, yeah, that's right, because you're "out of phase."
- Martin Lloyd: Um, exactly.
- Yolanda Reese: So, how come I don't fall through the floor?
- Martin Lloyd: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What is that?
- Property Master: It's fruit. Scene 23.
- Martin Lloyd: Scene 23 takes place on another planet, so you think aliens eat apples?
- Property Master: Why not? They speak English.
- Martin Lloyd: [Martin's memory is returning and he realizes what he's done] Oh; oh no! Wormhole X-Treme! The show is based on your Stargate program.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Don't worry about it, Marty; it's on cable.
- Director: [Referring to a special effect of an explosion on the set] BIGGER! What is it about the word "bigger" that you don't understand?
- Nick Marlowe: This is realistic, right? The uniform? Camouflage?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh yeah, yep. You don't want to be a target out there in... space.
- Nick Marlowe: That's exactly what I said, so why aren't the aliens ever in camouflage?
- Martin Lloyd: I fought for that, uh, Nick. But, the studio wants the aliens seen.
- Nick Marlowe: An alien wouldn't want to be seen, Martin. Think!
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Maybe that's why they're dead?
- Producer: Look, I know it says he's weightless, but look what happens when I scratch out the word "weightless". You see, he no longer becomes weightless, he just "becomes."
- Director: Okay. Fine. Good. But, eh, how else does Colonel Danning get past the giant alien guard?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Why doesn't he just shoot him?
- Producer: Who is this?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Colonel Jack O'Neill.
- Martin Lloyd: He's the new Air Force technical advisor. He doesn't know he's not supposed to say anything yet.
- Producer: And you're telling me an Air Force officer can shoot a giant alien without having to be weightless?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Sure. Why not?