- Mr. John: Shall I take it that you have a problem with my lifestyle?
- Jane Sokol: No! No, I - not at all! I have the utmost respect for you and your friend, Guy.
- Mr. John: My FRIEND, Jane? Guy is my friend? If I did with my friends what I did with Guy last night, I should lose a great many friends. Of course, the ones left over would be extremely content, but that's not the point.
- Felicia: He is without a doubt the worst lover I have ever had, and I'm kind of a slut, so we're talking a lotta guys here. In the three months we were together, we had sex 78 times. You know how long it took to have all that sex? 19 minutes and 22 seconds!
- Bobby: You don't know that!
- Felicia: Oh yes, I do, I kept a log. And after every time we did it, I made a note in my book.
- Bobby: I never saw you doing that.
- Felicia: Oh, you wanna know why?
- Trudy Weissman: Oooh, can I take this one, Felicia?
- Felicia: Go ahead.
- [Trudy stands, leans in close to Bobby's and yells]
- Trudy Weissman: Because you were asleep!