- Jack Tripper: What about the cooking? What about Mister Bustamente?
- Lucia Bustamente: Mister Bustamente's a big doomb toorkey!
- Jack Tripper: Isn't that interesting how some Italian words sound exactly like English.
- [last lines]
- Chrissy Snow: [to Jack's consternation, couldn't find the hidden Government check in her right shoe, then found it in the left] Well, I only missed by one.
- Chrissy Snow: [threw away the day's mail] What do you want me to do about it? Go down to the city dump and dig up ten blocks of trash?
- Jack Tripper: [considers her offer] No, that would take too long.
- [exasperated, slams his hand into his fist]
- Janet Wood: Jack, couldn't the Government just rush out a duplicate check?
- Jack Tripper: The Government *rush*?
- [cynical laugh]
- Jack Tripper: Where are the loan papers?
- Chrissy Snow: There aren't any. He said all he needed was your name, your address and your next of kin.
- Jack Tripper: Okay, Chrissy, what's this Bustamante's address? I - I gotta get this money back to him right away.
- Chrissy Snow: Oh, you don't have to worry. He said when it was time he'd come looking for you.
- Janet Wood: You can't go through with this!
- Jack Tripper: Why not? She seems very anxious to get right to work and make something.
- Janet Wood: I understood what Mrs. Bustamente was saying, and the only thing that she wants to make is *you*!
- Jack Tripper: Oh, come on!
- [full implications dawn upon him]
- Jack Tripper: What?
- Ralph Furley: [pouring drinks as Jack enters, thinks he's talking to Lana] Don't be nervous. Come in and get your giggle-water.
- Jack Tripper: Yeah, Janet, she's a married woman, and her husband's a real tough cookie. Are you sure she was talking about getting it on with me?
- Janet Wood: Jack, you don't have to understand Italian to know what that lady was saying. I mean, she was shouting it in body language.
- Chrissy Snow: I thought she was getting a little worked up to be thinking of macaroni.
- Jack Tripper: Okay, okay, you girls are gonna have to help me. If you hear anything that sounds like I'm in trouble in that kitchen, you come in fast, okay?
- Janet Wood: But, Jack, you know I have to get back to the flower shop.
- Jack Tripper: I know. But, Janet, please... I need you!
- Janet Wood: Jack, I'm sorry, but this is my job we're talking about!
- [rushes off]
- Janet Wood: I'm gonna be late!
- [on her way out]
- Jack Tripper: I need some help!
- Janet Wood: Bye!
- [door slams]
- Jack Tripper: [no other way out] Chrissy... Chrissy... Look, will you help me, and - and not leave me alone with her?
- Chrissy Snow: You want me to protect your honor?
- [goofy laugh]
- Jack Tripper: Chrissy! I'm serious!
- Jack Tripper: [tries fending off Mrs. Bustamente's dangerous intentions] Don't run the hair through your fingers!
- Jack Tripper: [to amorous Mrs. Bustamente:] Hang on one second, will ya?
- [pops out of the kitchen]
- Jack Tripper: Chrissy! Why didn't you come in here to help me?
- Chrissy Snow: You said to come when you were in trouble. It sounded like you were having a ball!