Titus (TV Series)
Intervention (2000)
Christopher Titus: Christopher Titus
Quotes
-
Tommy Shafter : Why did you tell him?
Erin Fitzpatrick : I...
Ken Titus : She didn't! I heard her tell her mom on the phone.
Tommy Shafter : You told your mother! Oh, my God. What does she think of me?
Christopher Titus : Worry about what I think of you!
-
[Ken reveals that Tommy had a dream about Titus, in which Titus was naked]
Tommy Shafter : The nudity, it wasn't gratuitous, it was integral to the plot of the dream!
Christopher Titus : [disgusted] There was a plot?
Tommy Shafter : You were a pirate.
[Titus moans in disgust]
-
[while Chris and Dave argue]
Erin Fitzpatrick : Guys! This never goes anywhere.
Christopher Titus : 'Cause you always interrupt it.
-
Christopher Titus : I swore I would never get involved in my dad's life. But then he started blowing it. So I had to get involved, you know, but he's my dad, I can't send him to his room or ground him or go to his first grade play and scream, "Look at the fairy!" I was a wood nymph.
-
Christopher Titus : Dad was Tommy's first drinking buddy. He was like a son to Dad. The lucky son who didn't live with Dad.
-
[Christopher wants to stage an intervention to get Ken drinking again]
Dave Scouvel : I'm gonna go to my room.
Christopher Titus : Go, fine, go. You always leave when things get rough.
[Dave begins to walk away]
Christopher Titus : Where are you going?
Dave Scouvel : You said I always leave.
Christopher Titus : I meant it as a character flaw.
Dave Scouvel : I got that.
-
Christopher Titus : We actually have no pictures of my father where he is not holding a beer.
[turns on a projector]
Christopher Titus : Water skiing, funerals, parent-teacher conferences, intensive care.
-
[Christopher wants Ken to start drinking again]
Ken Titus : Hey, I can start drinking any time I want.
Christopher Titus : Then go ahead. Drink it.
[Christopher crouches down next to Ken]
Christopher Titus : Wussy.
Erin Fitzpatrick , Tommy Shafter , Dave Scouvel , Ridge : Whoa!
[Erin, Dave, Tommy, and Ridge all take cover]
Ken Titus : Wussy?
Christopher Titus : [standing tough, but then his voice breaks] You heard me.
-
Christopher Titus : Tommy, you don't cater an intervention. We have to get dad to face his problem with alcohol. What we need here is love, strength, understanding...
Dave Scouvel : A stun gun.
Tommy Shafter : [holding up a taser] Everyone, next to the shrimp puffs.
[crackles taser]
-
Christopher Titus : Get these out of here.
Tommy Shafter : This is the way I deal with stress, okay? I'm not on board with this, but if we're going to do this, we might as well have finger foods!