Stacy Keach: Ken Titus

Quotes 

• Ken Titus : You're all a bunch of wussies! Get off your lazy asses, get out of this stupid hotel, and go and fix your useless boring lives!

• Jerry October : You must be Ken Titus, I'm Jerry October, welcome to "Life Forward", where people discover what holds them back in life.

  Ken Titus : All these people have kids?

• Christopher Titus : Dad, you're safe here, you're among friends, okay? I just want you to know that I give you my - my love and my forgiveness.

  Ken Titus : Great. I'll put that in my tool shed with all the other crap I don't use.

• Ken Titus : Hey! Hey! Hey! Back the cult-mobile out of my son's empty brain. That's handicapped parking.

• Ken Titus : Hey! Don't you ever call me again and tell me that you love me and you forgive me!

  Christopher Titus : Hi, dad.

  Ken Titus : I would rather a highway patrol officer show up on my doorstep with your head in a bag!

• Ken Titus : This isn't Life Forward, Jerry. This is Ass Backwards.

• [Ken is "fixing" the people at the "Life Forward" seminar] 

  Ken Titus : [to a fat man]  You. Quit eating, start smoking. That'll drop the pounds.

  [to a black woman] 

  Ken Titus : You. You're black, you're pissed about it. Marry a white guy and take all his money in the divorce, that'll even out the bitterness.

  [to a bald man] 

  Ken Titus : You. Wear a hat.