Titus (TV Series)
The Surprise Party (2000)
Christopher Titus: Christopher Titus
Quotes
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Tommy Shafter : Great, another party I wasn't invited to.
Christopher Titus : Don't step in the blood!
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Dave Titus : Yeah, I'm standing up to Dad!
Christopher Titus : You're standing up to his truck!
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Christopher Titus : Rock on! Rock on! Rock on!
Ken Titus : Rock off!
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[last lines]
Christopher Titus : In a normal family, surprise means presents, cake and a party. My family, surprise means homelessness, abandonment and destruction of private property. Sometimes we have cake. We're not losers.
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Christopher Titus : Every man remembers the day he left the nest and went out on his own. Actually, I don't because I was wasted!
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Nurse Kathy : You guys are being so nice, and since I'm going to be a part of your father's life, which makes me part of your life, I hope I can give you what your other mothers couldn't.
Christopher Titus : [cut to the Neutral Space] Kathy will be my sixth mother, which means "Here comes the 'I-hope-I-can-give-you-what-your-other-mothers-couldn't' speech."
[pause]
Christopher Titus : Okay, Kathy...
[holds up wooden Viking shield]
Christopher Titus : ... show me what you got!
Nurse Kathy : [back to reality] I want you to know I'm on your side.
Christopher Titus : [back to Neutral Space] She's on my side...
[arrow flies in from offscreen and Titus ducks behind the shield as the arrow hits the top portion]
Christopher Titus : Ooohhhh... worked for stepmom #2 and 4, not today!
Nurse Kathy : [back to reality] I know I can't be your mom, but I'd like to be your friend...
Christopher Titus : [back to Neutral Space] She can't be my mom, but she'd like to be my friend.
[arrow hits the bottom portion of the shield]
Christopher Titus : Oooohhhh... my real mom said that.
Nurse Kathy : [back to reality] ... because you are such an upstanding young man. At least that's what your dad says.
Christopher Titus : What?
[back to the Neutral Space]
Christopher Titus : Dad said that?
[lowers sheidl, arrow hits him in the chest]
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[first lines]
Christopher Titus : In a normal family, a surprise means presents, cake and a party.
[excited]
Christopher Titus : For me ? I had no idea.
[back to normal]
Christopher Titus : And my family, doing something nice is seen as an attack. When I was nine, I 'attacked' my father with a fathers day gift. A visor organiser for his car, because it was useful. And it rhymed. Visor. Organiser. I was nine.