- The Man From another Place: [talking backwards; subtitled] I've got good news. That gum you like is going to come back in style.
- [taking a sip of coffee and immediately spitting it out]
- Special Agent Dale Cooper: Damn good coffee. And hot!
- The Man From another Place: [talking backwards; subtitled] She's filled with secrets. Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song and there's always music in the air.
- Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Albert, I understand you're the best that there is. Agent Cooper told me that you do your job very well.
- Albert Rosenfield: That's right.
- Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Good. Because normaly if a stranger walked into my police station talking that kind of insulting crap, he'd be looking for his front teeth two blocks away on Queer Street!
- The One-Armed Man: Through the darkness of futures past/ The magician longs to see/ One chants out between two worlds/ Fire Walk With Me
- Special Agent Dale Cooper: Are you Laura Palmer?
- Laura Palmer: [talking backwards; subtitled] I feel like I know her but sometimes, my arms bend back...
- The Man From another Place: [talking backwards; subtitled] She's my cousin... but doesn't she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?
- Jerry Horne: We had those Vikings by the horns! What happened?
- Ben Horne: We're not 100% sure. They took their translator with them.
- Jerry Horne: Sweetheart, I'd like to order two drinks. One double scotch on the rocks, and my brother would like a double scotch on the rocks.
- Bartender at One-Eyed Jack's: That's two double scotch on the rocks.
- Jerry Horne: Next step: rocket science!
- The Log Lady: [introduction] There is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. Yes, we are ignorant of many beautiful things - things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real. The tears are real. What is this thing called a tear? There are even tiny ducts - tear ducts - to produce these tears should the sadness occur. Then the day when the sadness comes - then we ask: "Will this sadness which makes me cry - will this sadness that makes my heart cry out - will it ever end?" The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end.
- Albert Rosenfield: What the hell kind of two-bit operation they running out of this treehouse, Cooper?
- Sheriff Harry S. Truman: There's a sort of evil out there. Something very, very strange in these old woods. Call it what you want. A darkness, a presence. It takes many forms but... its been out there for as long as anyone can remember and we've always been here to fight it.
- Special Agent Dale Cooper: Nothing beats the taste sensation when maple syrup
- [claps his hands]
- Special Agent Dale Cooper: collides with ham.
- Killer Bob: Head's up, tails up, run you scallywags. Night falls, morning calls, I'll catch you with my death bag. You may think I've gone insane, but I promise, I will kill again!
- Ben Horne: [to Audrey Horne] If I EVER catch you doing something like this again, you're going to wind up scrubbing bidets in a Bulgarian convent!
- Leo Johnson: You punks owe me ten grand! Leo needs a new pair of shoes!
- Bobby Briggs: All right! We won't take delivery on any of the drugs until you get all the cash.
- Leo Johnson: Do I look like a bank?
- Bobby Briggs: I appreciate your concern, Leo. But this thing with Laura... what happened to her... how could I expect...
- Leo Johnson: [interrupting] Hey, man! Laura was a wild girl.
- Bobby Briggs: Tell me about it!
- Leo Johnson: I will... someday.
- Albert Rosenfield: Oh yeah, well I've had about enough of morons and half wits, dolts, dunces, dullards and dumbbells... and you, you chowder-head yokel, you blithering hayseed. You've had enough of me?
- Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Yes I have.
- [punches Albert in the face]