Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium (2006)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jake Harper : Hey, Uncle Charlie! What's green, has 4 legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and landed on you?

  Charlie Harper : What?

  Jake Harper : A pool table! It's funny 'cause you wouldn't expect it to be in a tree.

• Charlie Harper : [about sexual frustration]  I mean, how do you stop yourself from, you know, running a red light and then taunting a cop until he shoots you?

• Charlie Harper : [about whether or not to have sex]  Me? I have to make this decision? That's like asking the fat kid to guard the pie!