Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet (2004)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Charlie Harper : [Rose strokes Charlie's hair, waking him] Rose, how do you keep getting in the house?
Rose : [Rose has been lying next to Charlie in bed for a while without him knowing] Oh, Charlie, aren't we past that? I just thought you'd like to know that your brother's sleepwalking again.
Charlie Harper : And you had to get in bed with me to tell me that?
Rose : No, silly. I was already in bed with you.
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Alan : [Alan's take-out is wrong] I'm gonna call that restaurant and give them a piece of my mind!
Charlie Harper : That's smart. Scream at the people who handle your food.
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Charlie Harper : [to Alan] You've been acting nuttier than rat crap in a pistachio factory.
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Charlie Harper : Lemme ask you something. When's the last time you had sex with a girl? Or a melon? Or anything?
Alan : [outraged] None of your business!
Charlie Harper : That long, huh?
Alan : Why do you care?
Charlie Harper : I dunno. You just have that twitchy look of a guy who's got one stuck in the chamber.
