The West Wing (TV Series)

In This White House (2000)

Emily Procter: Ainsley Hayes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leo McGarry : You have an interesting conversational style, do you know that?

  Ainsley Hayes : It's a nervous condition.

  Leo McGarry : I used to have a nervous condition.

  Ainsley Hayes : How did yours manifest itself?

  Leo McGarry : I drank a lot of scotch.

  Ainsley Hayes : I get sick when I drink too much.

  Leo McGarry : I get drunk when I drink too much.

• Bruce : Oh, damn. I wanted you to say it to his face. I wanted to see...

  Harriet : I hate these people.

  Bruce : Did you meet anyone there who isn't worthless?

  Ainsley Hayes : Don't say that.

  Bruce : Did you meet anyone there who has any - ?

  Ainsley Hayes : I said don't say that. Say they're smug and superior. Say their approach to public policy makes you want to tear your hair out. Say they like high taxes and spending your money. Say they want to take your guns and open your borders, but don't call them worthless. At least don't do it in front of me. The people that I have met have been extraordinarily qualified, their intent is good. Their commitment is true, they are righteous, and they are patriots. And I'm their lawyer.

• Sam Seaborn : No, man, why participate in the process when you can get a job commenting on it?

  Ainsley Hayes : You think because I don't want to work here it's because I can get a better gig on Geraldo? Gosh, let's see if there could possibly be any other reason why I wouldn't want to work in this White House? This White House that feels that government is better for children than parents are. That looks at forty years of degrading and humiliating free lunches handed out in a spectacularly failed effort to level the playing field and says, 'Let's try forty more.' This White House that says of anyone that points that out to them, that they are cold and mean and racist, and then accuses Republicans of using the politics of fear. This White House that loves the Bill of Rights, all of them - except the second one.

  Sam Seaborn : This is the wrong place to talk about guns right now. I thought your column was idiotic.

  Ainsley Hayes : Imagine my surprise.

• Ainsley Hayes : The bill contained plenty of money for textbooks, Mark, and anyone who says otherwise is flat-out lying. And we should tell the truth about this. Textbooks are important, if for no other reason than they'd accurately place the town of Kirkwood in California and not Oregon.

• Ainsley Hayes : I'll ask again: for what purpose was I brought here today?

  Leo McGarry : So I could offer you a job.

  Ainsley Hayes : I'm asking because I do not think that it is fair that I be expected to play the role of the mouse to the White House's cat in the game of... you know the game?

  Leo McGarry : Cat and mouse?

  Ainsley Hayes : Yes. And it's not like I'm not, you know. The fact that I may not look like some of the other Republicans who have crossed your path does not mean that I'm any less inclined toward...

  Leo McGarry : Here it comes.

  Ainsley Hayes : Did you say offer me a job?

• Sam Seaborn : It's not about personal freedom, and it certainly has nothing to do with public safety. It's just that some people like guns.

  Ainsley Hayes : Yes, they do. But you know what's more insidious than that? Your gun control position doesn't have anything to do with public safety, and it's certainly not about personal freedom. It's about you don't like people who *do* like guns. You don't like the people. Think about that, the next time you make a joke about the South.

• Leo McGarry : Ainsley.

  Ainsley Hayes : Yes, sir?

  Leo McGarry : Don't you want to work in the White House?

  Ainsley Hayes : Oh, only since I was two.

• Ainsley Hayes : [about Margaret]  She seems like a very good secretary.

  Leo McGarry : Well, she'll be happy to hear that. She's standing right outside the door.

  Margaret Hooper : [Leo hits the closed door]  Ow.

• Ainsley Hayes : Does anybody know how to work caller-ID?

  Harriet : Oh, how can you not know how to use a telephone?

  Ainsley Hayes : I've been paying attention to other things.

  Harriet : Well, pay attention to that because Bruce's friend is gonna call you.

  Ainsley Hayes : The agent?

  Bruce : Yep.

  Ainsley Hayes : I don't need an agent, I need a caller-ID tutorial.

  Harriet : You need an agent, Ainsley, you're gonna be a star.

  Ainsley Hayes : Used to be, you had to sing and dance.

• Leo McGarry : Yeah, Ainsley, even if you hadn't already told me all of this - you know, many, many times - I would know it anyway, 'cause I have this FBI file.

  Ainsley Hayes : You have my FBI file?

  Leo McGarry : Yes.

  Ainsley Hayes : I can't believe that! You have my FBI file?

  Leo McGarry : Yes.

  Ainsley Hayes : I *have* an FBI file?

• Ainsley Hayes : I find this administration smug and patronizing, and under the impression that those who disagree with them are less than they are, and with colder hearts.

  Leo McGarry : I don't think that's true.

  Ainsley Hayes : How many people on your staff assumed that I was ambitious, mean, and stupid?

  Leo McGarry : None... C.J. Cregg thinks you kill your pets. You don't do that, do you?

  Ainsley Hayes : No, I don't kill my pets. I don't have any pets. I was thinking about getting a pet, but - that doesn't matter. The point is...

• Josh Lyman : You look familiar to me. You're Aimsley Hayes.

  Ainsley Hayes : Ainsley. With an "n".

  Sam Seaborn : She works here now.

  Josh Lyman : What?

  Sam Seaborn : Leo hired her.

  Josh Lyman : What are you talking about?

  Sam Seaborn : Leo hired her. He told me and C.J., he was waiting to tell you and Toby.

  Josh Lyman : What was he waiting for?

• Ainsley Hayes : Did you say "offer me a job"?

  Leo McGarry : Yes. Associate White House counsel. You'd report to the deputy White House counsel who reports to the White House counsel who reports to me.

  Ainsley Hayes : I'm sorry... a job in this White House?

  Leo McGarry : You want a glass of scotch?

  Ainsley Hayes : Yes, please.

• Ainsley Hayes : Yes, sir. I've been thinking about that ever since your office called me on Tuesday, and I have something to say on my own behalf, if you'll permit me a moment to say it, and I understand if you won't, but I would really appreciate it if you did.

  Leo McGarry : I... didn't really follow that, but whatever.

  Ainsley Hayes : I think that it is wrong for a man in your position to summon someone to the White House to reprimand them for voicing opposition. I think that that is wrong, and it is inappropriate. It's inappropriate, and I'll tell you what else.

  Leo McGarry : It's wrong?

  Ainsley Hayes : Yes.