- Brad Sherwood: [in "Superheroes", as Suicide Boy] Oh, what a miserable day. Sweet propane, take me away.
- Drew Carey: You kids watchin' at home, remember: The less homework you do, and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.
- Brad Sherwood: [in "The Millionaire Show"] So, why don't you tell everybody what your name is and what you do for a living.
- Ryan Stiles: I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skin diver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.
- Brad Sherwood: That's terrific, Jim! I have lots of amphetamines rushing through my system right now! I'm just so pleased to be anywhere without Cathy Lee Crosby! Okay.
- [Ryan whispers to him]
- Brad Sherwood: Whatever. Whatever her name is.
- Ryan Stiles: Is that my first question?
- Brad Sherwood: No, it's not!