Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 319 (2000)

Colin Mochrie: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Greg Proops : [in "Survival Show", set at a post office]  You will vote one member off. That member will leave immediately. Do not stop at the box, do not try to park in the blue space out in front. Now it's time to vote.

  [Ryan, Colin, and Wayne mime writing] 

  Greg Proops : Please, let's not use the postal service, it'll take too long. Let's just carry on.

  Wayne Brady : [to camera]  I chose Colin, because he makes me angry...

  [in deep voice] 

  Wayne Brady : and I want to KILL him.

  Colin Mochrie : [to camera]  I chose Wayne. I used a system where I put a number to each letter of his name, I added, multiplied by three, and divided by my month and date of my birthday. Also, I think he wants to kill me.

  Ryan Stiles : [to camera]  I voted for myself. I wanna get the hell out of here.

  Greg Proops : [to camera]  Who's everyone talking to? I'm available to host "The Price is Right".

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Greatest Hits", about songs of the safari]  There's songs on this CD set from all over the world. You know, I just returned from a trip to Jamaica.

  Colin Mochrie : Really.

  Ryan Stiles : And y'know, reggae isn't the only music they play down there.

  Colin Mochrie : Get out of town and take a bus!

  [Ryan starts to leave but Colin pulls him back] 

• Drew Carey : [in "Scenes from a Hat"]  "Pick-up lines of the elderly."

  Colin Mochrie : Wanna break a hip?

  Wayne Brady : Oh. I keep my teeth in a glass.

  [winks; mimes removing dentures] 

  Colin Mochrie : Why don't you touch your toes and grab my breasts?

  Wayne Brady : I bet you and me could go through a whole tube of Bengay!

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Greatest Hits", after the song "Ants, Ants, Ants in My Pants"]  You know, Colin, we may have to put a label on this CD, 'cause I coulda swore I heard the word "antshome".

  [pauses as audience laughs] 

  Ryan Stiles : I think I DID!

  Colin Mochrie : Sometimes, I just don't know about you.

  [both briefly giggle] 

  Colin Mochrie : You know... I have many favorite artists... Van Gogh is one, but he didn't really sing a lot.

  Ryan Stiles : No. Couldn't hear a word. Didn't have the ear for it.

  Colin Mochrie : Yeah. Him and Beethoven.

  Ryan Stiles : Oh, I love that dog.

• Greg Proops : [in "Reunion", the theme being drill sergeants]  I can't remember, where are you from?

  Colin Mochrie : I'm from Oklahoma!

  Greg Proops : Where are you from?

  Colin Mochrie : Oklahoma!

  Greg Proops : [shouting]  Only two things come from Oklahoma! Steers, and other steers that like them!

  [the two share a laugh]