Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 319 (2000)

Ryan Stiles: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Survival Show", set at a post office]  I'll tell ya one thing: I'm not eating rat anymore. There's fifty restaurants in this general area. Why are we eating rat?

• Greg Proops : [in "Survival Show", set at a post office]  You will vote one member off. That member will leave immediately. Do not stop at the box, do not try to park in the blue space out in front. Now it's time to vote.

  [Ryan, Colin, and Wayne mime writing] 

  Greg Proops : Please, let's not use the postal service, it'll take too long. Let's just carry on.

  Wayne Brady : [to camera]  I chose Colin, because he makes me angry...

  [in deep voice] 

  Wayne Brady : and I want to KILL him.

  Colin Mochrie : [to camera]  I chose Wayne. I used a system where I put a number to each letter of his name, I added, multiplied by three, and divided by my month and date of my birthday. Also, I think he wants to kill me.

  Ryan Stiles : [to camera]  I voted for myself. I wanna get the hell out of here.

  Greg Proops : [to camera]  Who's everyone talking to? I'm available to host "The Price is Right".

• Drew Carey : [in "Scenes from a Hat"]  "Difficult things to sell door-to-door."

  Ryan Stiles : Ding dong.

  [Wayne enters] 

  Ryan Stiles : Hi, uh, I'm a whore. And I was wondering...

  [Drew buzzes him out] 

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Greatest Hits", about songs of the safari]  There's songs on this CD set from all over the world. You know, I just returned from a trip to Jamaica.

  Colin Mochrie : Really.

  Ryan Stiles : And y'know, reggae isn't the only music they play down there.

  Colin Mochrie : Get out of town and take a bus!

  [Ryan starts to leave but Colin pulls him back] 

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Greatest Hits", after the song "Ants, Ants, Ants in My Pants"]  You know, Colin, we may have to put a label on this CD, 'cause I coulda swore I heard the word "antshome".

  [pauses as audience laughs] 

  Ryan Stiles : I think I DID!

  Colin Mochrie : Sometimes, I just don't know about you.

  [both briefly giggle] 

  Colin Mochrie : You know... I have many favorite artists... Van Gogh is one, but he didn't really sing a lot.

  Ryan Stiles : No. Couldn't hear a word. Didn't have the ear for it.

  Colin Mochrie : Yeah. Him and Beethoven.

  Ryan Stiles : Oh, I love that dog.