- [playing "Scenes from a Hat"]
- Drew Carey - Host: "If entertainers worked funerals."
- Wayne Brady: Please gather around the body. FOOM! It's not there anymore! Huh? Thank you!
- [laughter]
- Robin Williams: Is this the loved one? All right, start the truck, Johnny!
- [laughter]
- Robin Williams: WOW, LOOK AT HIM MOVE! Isn't that incredible, ladies and gentlemen? With just six volts, you can make your relatives dance again!
- [laughter; Ryan steps out and pantomimes sticking his head into the corpse's mouth, a la a lion tamer, to raucous laughter]
- Colin Mochrie: [pantomimes folding a balloon animal] A dog.
- [more raucous laughter]
- Ryan Stiles: [picking the corpse up like a ventriloquist dummy] Well, Harry and I would like to thank you all for coming by, wouldn't we, Harry? "Oh, yeah."
- Drew Carey - Host: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Things you don't expect to hear when you put your ear to a seashell."
- Ryan Stiles: [as Carol Channing] I'm Spartacus!
- Wayne Brady: PUT ME DOWN!
- Robin Williams: Who's your daddy?
- Robin Williams: [peeking into the "Scenes from a Hat" hat] What's the dead rabbit for?
- Drew Carey - Host: My old career.
- [laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Hollywood Director"] Let's try to concentrate and work hard!
- Robin Williams: Oh fine, "work hard, work hard".
- Colin Mochrie: All right, you know what...
- Robin Williams: Last night you didn't say that.
- Colin Mochrie: Sssh!
- [to Ryan]
- Colin Mochrie: He's very special, he needs work.
- Robin Williams: [in "Hollywood Director", the current style is hillbillies] Damn, I cut myself. Well, we'll use it as the sauce.
- Robin Williams: [in "Hollywood Director"] Can I take a moment?
- Colin Mochrie: Take it.
- Robin Williams: Done.
- Colin Mochrie: That's why I love working with you!
- Wayne Brady: What about me?
- Colin Mochrie: Shut up!
- Robin Williams: [in "Props", using the props as cheerleader pom-poms] Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, ruck 'em, / Get that ball and really FIGHT!