- Wayne Brady: [at the end of "Let's Make a Date", guessing Greg's quirk of "Angry Jerry Springer Guest"] Bachelor number one is a... jilted ex-boyfriend.
- Drew Carey: And where do those people usually show up?
- Wayne Brady: At my house?
- Drew Carey: At what...
- [audience laughs]
- Drew Carey: on what famous television show would you expect to...
- Wayne Brady: Oh! On the "Jerry Springer Show".
- [audience applauds]
- Wayne Brady: All I watch is PBS, brotha. I don't know about that.
- Drew Carey: [laughs] Yeah, I know. I know.
- Wayne Brady: Bachelor number two, Colin, is a ventriloquist with an angry ventriloquist dummy.
- Drew Carey: Yeah, that's close enough.
- [audience applauds]
- Wayne Brady: And bachelor number three is the collected works of...
- Drew Carey: No. No.
- Wayne Brady: Alfred- Steven...
- Drew Carey: No.
- Wayne Brady: Is, is all the characters...
- Drew Carey: No.
- Wayne Brady: Is, uh, hor- horror...
- Drew Carey: No.
- Wayne Brady: Bachelor number three...
- Drew Carey: Yes.
- Wayne Brady: ...Is one man, who embodies...
- Drew Carey: No.
- [Wayne kicks his feet in frustration]
- Drew Carey: it says here he's a frustrated writer going insane at a remote hotel. How could you not guess that?
- Wayne Brady: [sarcastic] Oh, that's right!
- [performers walk back to their seats]
- Drew Carey: I thought that was kind of an easy one. I dunno. Uh, a thousand points to Ryan, a thousand points to Colin, and Greg, you get to go out on a REAL date with Wayne Brady!
- [Greg and Wayne hold hands and stare into each other's eyes]
- Drew Carey: You're goin' to Guadalajara!
- Drew Carey: [after "Film Dub", with a clip from "Teenagers from Outer Space"] You thought the special effects in "Star Wars" were somethin' else, check THOSE out, man. That was amazing. I'm gonna be having nightmares now.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Greatest Hits", about songs of hockey] Hockey, music. They go together like hockey and music. And on this CD compilation, we have more hits than a porn website.