- Brad Sherwood: [in "Superheroes", as Tom Arnold] I can't remember if I'm still famous or not. Ooh, am I famous? Uh, uh, uh, I gotta do something crazy. I've gotta get arrested or marry another really famous fat girl. Agh... let's see, agh. Oh my God, we're out of ceramic! What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? Well, I could break my giant Buddha of Roseanne up into pieces. No, that won't work. Oh, if only I still did drugs.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Greatest Hits"] We'll be right back to Jerry Van Dyke, Jerry Vale, Jerry Lewis, and Jerry the cartoon mouse in Anton Chekhov's "The Jerry Orchard" in just a second.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Greatest Hits"] You know, a few years back, there was a new wave of music, and I was first to get my metaphorical surfboard and go on that new wave.
- Ryan Stiles: Ooh, that's a big word for a Canadian.
- Colin Mochrie: If you want, I can talk slower.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Greatest Hits"] What comes to mind when I mention you, me, and our wives?
- [Colin looks disturbed and mouths "No"]
- Ryan Stiles: Yes, yes, I'm talking about swing, one of my favorite music styles of all time.
- Drew Carey: Hey, time to congratulate our very own Colin Mochrie for being named People Magazine of Canada's sexiest man alive.
- [audience cheers]
- Drew Carey: If you don't believe me, drive up to Canada and check for yourself.
- Drew Carey: [before "Three-Headed Broadway Star"] We're gonna sing a three-headed love-way- blah blah blah...
- [Ryan laughs]
- Drew Carey: we're gonna sing a three-headed love song...
- Wayne Brady: That's a different city.
- Ryan Stiles: That's a different game, Drew.