John D'Aquino: Varges De La Cosa

Quotes 

• [grabbing a gun from one of the Fussell brothers before he can pistol whip Bannister] 

  Varges De La Cosa : No no no no no! Never use your gun as a hammer. It ruins the alignment of the cylinders.

• [upon returning from a late night buggy ride with Melissa] 

  Prometheus Jones : Will you get a look at Mr. Bannister Sparks!

  Bannister Sparks : This is the most glorious morning of the most perfect day of my life! Diamonds in the grass instead of dewdrops! Small quartets of meadowlarks in the trees!

  Brodie Hollister : [to the rest of the Chamber of Commerce]  That's not normal.

  Varges De La Cosa : No, but it fits him well.