- [Will, dressed like Capt. Von Trapp, is standing in the lobby of the wrong movie theater. James walks up and hands him his ticket stub]
- James Hanson: Here you go.
- Will Truman: What am I supposed to do with this?
- James Hanson: Well, you're supposed to tear it in two, give me one half, and, I guess, keep the other half for your big theater scrapbook.
- Will Truman: I'm not an usher.
- James Hanson: Well, then, why are you dressed like an usher?
- Will Truman: I'm not. I'm Captain Von Trapp. I have seven singing children and my cold heart was recently melted by a young nun.
- James Hanson: Where do you think you are?
- Will Truman: Uh, at the "Sound of Music" Sing-a-Long. Where do you think you are?
- James Hanson: At the 7:40 showing of "Memoirs of a Geisha."
- Will Truman: Ooh... I think you're in the wrong place.
- [just then, many movie patrons exist the theater]
- James Hanson: If this isn't the theater showing "Memoirs of a Geisha," then why are all these people coming out, going "eh?"
- Grace Adler: Do you think people can tell I'm Maria even though I don't have my Captain Von Trapp?
- Karen Walker: Of course, honey. You make a perfect Maria. You're sweet and perky, and you're obviously not cut out to be a nun.
- [Grace stops smiling]
- Karen Walker: Because you're a whore.
- Grace Adler: Thanks, Karen.
- Karen Walker: And a Jew.
- Grace Adler: Yeah, I got it.
- Grace Adler: Oh, how cute! Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes.
- Jack McFarland: Yeah, I don't think those are girls.
- James Hanson: So, what is it about the "Sound of Music" that makes otherwise reasonable people dress up and act like lunatics?
- Will Truman: You're asking the wrong person. I'm just going for my friends. I'm not really a fan. I think the whole movie is dopey and sentimental...
- James Hanson: Oh, really? 'Cause I love it.
- Will Truman: Oh, thank God, because I love it too!
- Karen Walker: [to Rosario] Rosie, what are you doing here?
- Rosario Salazar: I wouldn't miss it. I played Gretl in the El Salvador First National production.
- Karen Walker: Oh, Ro-Ro. I would have paid six chickens to see that.
- Rosario Salazar: It was an equity theater, you racist bitch.