- Jeff Billings: Maybe it's time you took it to a mechanic, man.
- Kevin Arnold: I already did.
- Jeff Billings: What'd he say?
- Kevin Arnold: I don't know. He was, uh, laughing too hard. I couldn't understand him.
- Kevin Arnold: This car's really something.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: [Alice looks longingly at Kevin] But it took two to banter.
- Alice Pedermeir: You're really something.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: Oh God, it was worse than I thought.
- Kevin Arnold: Well, lots of people are really something. You're really something... and Chuck, well, Chuck, he's really something.
- Alice Pedermeir: Chuck's a twerp.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: And then I heard the twenty-four words I dreaded most.
- Alice Pedermeir: Kevin, maybe I shouldn't be saying this...
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: That was seven of them.
- Alice Pedermeir: ...I mean, it's kind of hard to admit...
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: That was eight more.
- Alice Pedermeir: ...but I've always had a crush on you.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: And that made the dreaded twenty-four.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: I never did get that car. I got my old one back from Pistol Pete. But I guess I did learn a few things from this mess. When it comes to couples, mind your own business. When it comes to women, you'll never understand them. And, when it comes to cars...
- [Kevin's car breaks down again]
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: ... always bring a wrench.