The X-Files (TV Series)

How the Ghosts Stole Christmas (1998)

Edward Asner: Maurice

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maurice : You've probably convinced yourself you've seen aliens. You know why you think you see the things you do?

  Mulder : Because... I *have* seen them?

  Maurice : 'Cause you're lonely men. A lonely man chasing para-mastabatory illusions that you believe will give your life meaning and significance, which your pathetic social maladjustment makes impossible for you to find elsewhere. You probably consider yourself... passionate, serious, misunderstood. Am I right?

  Mulder : ...Para-mastabatory?

• Scully : Both of you, move. Move over there. Move other there.

  Maurice : This violates our civil rights. I have friends at the ACLU.

• Maurice : This pop psychology approach is crap. All it does is annoy them. When's the last time we actually haunted anyone?

• Maurice : [to Mulder]  Most people would rather stick their fingers in a wall socket than spend a minute with you.

• Lydia : We almost had those two, didn't we?

  Maurice : We almost had 'em.

• Maurice : You see what we're resorting to, gimmicks and cheap tricks. We used to be so good at this.