Yes, Prime Minister (TV Series)
A Conflict of Interest (1987)
Nigel Hawthorne: Sir Humphrey Appleby
Photos
Quotes
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Sir Humphrey : The only way to understand the Press is to remember that they pander to their readers' prejudices.
Jim Hacker : Don't tell me about the Press. I know *exactly* who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they *ought* to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually *do* run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Financial Times is read by people who *own* the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by *another* country; and The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.
Sir Humphrey : Oh, and Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?
Bernard Woolley : Sun readers don't care who runs the country as long as she's got big tits.
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[discussing a financial scandal]
Sir Desmond Glazebrook : They've broken the rules.
Sir Humphrey : What, you mean the insider trading regulations?
Sir Desmond Glazebrook : No.
Sir Humphrey : Oh. Well, that's one relief.
Sir Desmond Glazebrook : I mean of course they've broken those, but they've broken the basic, the basic rule of the City.
Sir Humphrey : I didn't know there were any.
Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Just the one. If you're incompetent you have to be honest, and if you're crooked you have to be clever. See, if you're honest, then when you make a pig's breakfast of things the chaps rally round and help you out.
Sir Humphrey : If you're crooked?
Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Well, if you're making good profits for them, chaps don't start asking questions; they're not stupid. Well, not that stupid.
Sir Humphrey : So the ideal is a firm which is honest and clever.
Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Yes. Let me know if you ever come across one, won't you.
