Yes, Prime Minister (TV Series)

A Conflict of Interest (1987)

Paul Eddington: James Hacker

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Quotes 

• Sir Humphrey : The only way to understand the Press is to remember that they pander to their readers' prejudices.

  Jim Hacker : Don't tell me about the Press. I know *exactly* who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they *ought* to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually *do* run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Financial Times is read by people who *own* the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by *another* country; and The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

  Sir Humphrey : Oh, and Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?

  Bernard Woolley : Sun readers don't care who runs the country as long as she's got big tits.

• [discussing a potential appointment] 

  James Hacker : Would you recommend him?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : No.

  James Hacker : Why not?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Well, the City's a funny place, you know, Prime Minister. If you spill the beans, you open up a whole can of worms. I mean, how can you let sleeping dogs lie if you let the cat out of the bag? Bring in a new broom and, if you're not careful, you find you've thrown the baby out with the bathwater. If you change horses in the middle of the stream, next thing you know you're up the creek without a paddle.

  James Hacker : And then the balloon goes up.

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Obviously. They hit you for six. An own goal in fact.

• Jim Hacker : What do you know about Phillips Berenson?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : What do you know about Phillips Berenson?

  Jim Hacker : Well, uh... only what I read in the papers.

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Oh, good. Yes, well, they'e in a bit of trouble, that's all. They lent a bit of money to the wrong chaps. Could happen to anyone.

  Dorothy Wainwright : So you haven't heard and rumors?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : On well, there are always rumors.

  Dorothy Wainwright : Of bribery, embezzlement, misappropriation, insider dealing?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Oh, come, come, dear lady, those are strong words

  Dorothy Wainwright : So they're not true?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Well, there's... there are different uh, different ways of looking at things.

  Dorothy Wainwright : What's a different way of looking at embezzlement?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Oh, well, of course, if a chap embezzles, you have to do something about it.

  Jim Hacker : Have a serious word with him?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Absolutely. Usually it's just a chap who's advanced himself a short-term, unauthorized, unsecured, temporary loan from the company's account, and, uh, invested it unluckily. You, know, horse falls at the first fence, that sort of thing.

• James Hacker : Desmond Glazebrook as governor? I mean, he's such a fool. He only talks in clichés. He can talk in clichés till the cows come home.

• Jim Hacker : Dorothy, I'm not at all happy about my speech for the party conference. It contains absolutely no good news.

  Dorothy Wainwright : We couldn't think of any.