- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Excuse me, but Janey would like to see her aunt Melissa. Immediately.
- Melissa Steadman: Immediately? Oh, God! What a pushy kid. All right, I'm coming. Start getting cute!
- [Michael looks at Hope, seeing her expression. It has only been a week since her miscarriage]
- Michael Steadman: [hugging her, reassuring] Okay.
- Melissa Steadman: [going through some old clothes with Ellyn] I can't throw anything out.
- Ellyn Warren: You gotta be ruthless. Not everything old has value, Melissa. Some things are just old. You and I, for example, are old and have value. These cookies... 'Good until June of '87'? Are merely old.
- Elaine Steadman: [handing a drink to Melissa] Sweetheart, give this to Aunt Muriel with a coaster. And don't bring up cousin Hannah. She's still in Oregon with the Lesbian Puppeteer group, and it'll just upset Aunt Muriel, okay?
- Melissa Steadman: I told her I didn't want the store. She had a heart attack.
- Elaine Steadman: Honey, the last three months have been one long heart attack.
- [Melissa falls back on her bed to stare at the ceiling]
- Elaine Steadman: Melissa? Melissa, what happened tonight has nothing to do with you.
- Melissa Steadman: But I still feel like it's my fault.
- Elaine Steadman: Because you stood up for yourself?
- Melissa Steadman: [sitting back up] I always knew one day we'd have to deal with the store. I used to think if all else failed that, you know, I could fall back on that. But all else has failed lots of times and... it's just that the store isn't my life.
- Elaine Steadman: Melissa, it's just not worth anything anymore. It's like a... it's like an old delicatessen where you go to have the waiters insult you. Daddy's been trying to get her to sell it for years.
- Melissa Steadman: So why did she pick me? Why didn't she give it to you?
- Elaine Steadman: I never gave her the chance. I never wanted it. I had Daddy. I had you. I never actually said 'no' to her. I still can't. Melissa, sometimes I'm just amazed at your courage.
- Elaine Steadman: [Elaine pulls out a pack of cigarettes. She looks at her daughter's expression] Don't tell Nana. She thinks I've stopped.
- Melissa Steadman: [going over] Can I have one?
- Elaine Steadman: I thought you stopped.
- Melissa Steadman: I did.
- Elaine Steadman: [handing her daughter a cigarette, disappointed] Oh, sweetheart.
- [the two light up and smoke for a moment]
- Elaine Steadman: What are we going to do about her?
- Melissa Steadman: Do you realize this is the first time you're asking me instead of telling me?
- Elaine Steadman: Really?
- [the two continue to smoke in unison]
- Elaine Steadman: So, what should we do about her?
- Melissa Steadman: Beats me.
- Elaine Steadman: [smiling] See? that's why I never asked you.
- Rose Waldman: What if a bus hits you? You want strangers to see you dead in that?
- Customer in the dressing room: Oh, I hadn't thought of that!
- Rose Waldman: Try the blue.
- Melissa Steadman: So, what are you doing tomorrow night?
- Michael Steadman: Uh, I don't know. The usual. Probably watch "60 Minutes", make sure we've eaten from all the major food groups for the week. Why? What are you doing?
- Melissa Steadman: Oh, the usual. Having dinner at my grandmother's. You know, if you and Hope aren't doing anything...
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: How's she doing? Is she feeling better?
- Melissa Steadman: Oh, she's great. She's amazing. And don't do your imitation.
- Michael Steadman: [doing so anyway] "Melissa, who's the boy?" Oh, that's Michael. That's my cousin. You've met him a million times.
- [pantomiming taking a drag from a cigarette]
- Michael Steadman: "Eh, get him a coaster. He's leaving rings."
- Melissa Steadman: You did leave rings. You should come. You can make up for it.
- Elaine Steadman: Listen, I really gotta go. That traffic is going to be murder.
- Melissa Steadman: [reluctantly] Listen, you want me to help with her, I'll help.
- Elaine Steadman: Yeah?
- Elaine Steadman: [after Melissa nods] Great. Okay, where are the keys, eh?
- Melissa Steadman: [looking around] They're in your hand, Mom.
- Elaine Steadman: [seeing her keys in her own hand] Right.
- Melissa Steadman: [handing the drink over] Here you go, Aunt Muriel.
- Aunt Muriel: [kissing Melissa loudly] Oh, thanks, sweetheart.
- Aunt Cookie: You look lovely, dahling.
- Melissa Steadman: Thanks, Aunt Cookie.
- Aunt Muriel: But you're missing an earring, hon.
- Melissa Steadman: Oh, I'm not. There's only one.
- Aunt Cookie: Did you check the car seat?
- Melissa Steadman: [patiently] There's only one.
- Aunt Muriel: I'll tell you what. We'll keep an eye open for it.
- Melissa Steadman: [smiling politely] Thanks. I really appreciate that.
- Elaine Steadman: Cookie, the honey cake looks wonderful.
- Aunt Cookie: Oh, I don't know... I'm a little worried about that honey cake. I'm going to go take a look at it.
- Aunt Muriel: I'll go with her.
- Aunt Cookie: [heading off to the kitchen with Aunt Muriel] If there's anything I hate it's a dry honey cake.
- Rose Waldman: [rolling her eyes and whispering to Melissa] Her honey cake showed up on my last angiogram.
- Elaine Steadman: [adjusting the thermostat] Dinner's ready.
- Rose Waldman: [cranky, to Elaine] What are you doing?
- Elaine Steadman: Mother, this house is like a freezer.
- Rose Waldman: It's an oven. Turn it down.
- Elaine Steadman: Mother, people are sitting in their coats.
- Rose Waldman: [turning to Melissa] You said it was hot.
- Melissa Steadman: Me? No, I didn't! I -!
- Rose Waldman: [to Elaine] See?
- Elaine Steadman: [having had enough] Please.
- Rose Waldman: Where's Murray? I want my highball.
- Elaine Steadman: You're not going to have a highball. We're just going to go in and eat, Mother!
- Rose Waldman: I always have a highball before I eat!
- Elaine Steadman: But it's not good for you. You know what the doctor said.
- Rose Waldman: Elaine, you stop trying to tell me what's good for me!
- Elaine Steadman: Please! Why would I poss -?
- Murray Steadman: [stepping in with genuine affection] Look at the three of you. I want a picture.
- Melissa Steadman: Oh! What a good idea. I'll take it.
- Rose Waldman: Why?
- Melissa Steadman: Why? Why? Nana, it's what I do.
- Rose Waldman: [sarcastically] It's what she does.
- Melissa Steadman: Yeah.
- Rose Waldman: When am I going to see one of your pictures in Life magazine?
- Melissa Steadman: When Ed Sullivan goes back on the air.
- Elaine Steadman: Darling, I have got a pot roast that's turning to leather.
- Melissa Steadman: Mom...
- Rose Waldman: [to Elaine] How would you know?
- Elaine Steadman: Oh, Mother, please! This is too much.
- Melissa Steadman: Would you shut up and pose? Come on. Go over by the chair.
- Elaine Steadman: [indignant] 'Shut up and pose'? Really! This is unbelievable. All right, I'm sorry!
- Melissa Steadman: Daddy? You be me.
- Murray Steadman: I'll need an earring.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: [entering the kitchen with Nancy, Michael, and Melissa as they gather up dessert fixings] Oh, I don't know. It's like my mother and father. They live on a golf course and, you know, they could be out and having a perfectly good game and then, you know, driving along and a meteor falls on them and they're killed instantly.
- [the others stop and stare at Hope, stunned into silence]
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: [looking at them] Painlessly! I mean, not now, you know, in ten years...
- [the just continue to look at her]
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: [seeing their expressions] Okay, twelve! Come on!
- Melissa Steadman: She was never, you know, your standard perfect pie-crust grandma. I used to go to her store after school? She'd drop whatever she was doing. We'd go for ice cream or we'd go for a walk. Or she'd say, 'C'mon, let's get outta here. We'll go to the movies and hit the Chinaman. My treat.' I was fat. I looked like uh... Little Lotta. I didn't have any friends. But she was my friend.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: [putting a reassuring arm across Melissa's shoulders] She'll be okay.
- Melissa Steadman: [changing the subject, eyeing the dessert fixings] This is dessert? Make Your Own Sundae? You're reading Readbook again, Hope.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: I'm a busy woman. You want wedding cake? Get married.
- [Michael makes a sympathetic frown as he and Nancy listen to their exchange fondly]
- Melissa Steadman: [to them] Help yourself.
- Melissa Steadman: C'mon. C'mon. Put on your slippers.
- Rose Waldman: Why should I put on my slippers? Is Paul Newman coming over?
- Melissa Steadman: Oh, yeah. He's gonna bring you his salad dressing.
- Elaine Steadman: [coming in with a bowl of soup] Here's your soup, Mother. It's your recipe.
- Rose Waldman: Okay, thank you.
- Rose Waldman: [sniffing at the soup and looking up doubtfully] Are you sure this is my recipe?
- Elaine Steadman: [patient] Yes.
- Rose Waldman: [handing the bowl of soup to Melissa but taking one cracker] Oh, I'll have a cracker.
- [Elaine bends down to gather up some magazines]
- Rose Waldman: [impatient] Elaine, please! Stop bouncing around! You're like a Mexican jumping bean. Relax. Have a cracker!
- Rose Waldman: [wistfully, as Melissa tucks her in] Oh. Jack was something. He was a king. Fanny Brice was in love with him, and he sold Al Joelson the summer home. And then, suddenly everything was gone. Everything. Jack never said a word. He just sat in a chair. And then - I went and made a business. I was pregnant with your mother. She was born three days after we opened. And I was back at work at the store the next day.
- Elaine Steadman: All right. All right, but if she goes near a cigarette, I want you to call me immediately.
- Melissa Steadman: I'll call you!
- Elaine Steadman: You're positive this is all right?
- Melissa Steadman: She's gonna be fine. Okay?
- Elaine Steadman: Yeah?
- Elaine Steadman: [hugging Melissa] All right, sweetheart.
- Melissa Steadman: She's gonna be fine.
- Melissa Steadman: [watching Elaine begin to look for her keys] Mom, your keys are in your hand.
- Elaine Steadman: [seeing them] I knew that.
- Ellyn Warren: [considering Melissa's suit and buttoning up the coat] Great. Uh, do you have jury duty or something?
- Melissa Steadman: No, I have to go to my grandmother's store. I told her I'd work there for a few days till she gets back on her feet.
- Ellyn Warren: Oh, that's nice. Is she okay?
- Melissa Steadman: Oh, yeah. She's fine. I'm completely wiped out.
- Ellyn Warren: [checking Melissa's 'look' and deciding to unbutton the jacket again] No...
- Melissa Steadman: I was up with her all last night because I was over there.
- Ellyn Warren: Oh, God.
- Melissa Steadman: [standing back, about the jacket] Open?
- Ellyn Warren: [looking her over, approving] Open.
- Melissa Steadman: Ellyn, listen. Uhm. A lot of stuff's been coming up for me lately.
- Ellyn Warren: Oh, I know. It must be really hard with your family and all, huh?
- Melissa Steadman: Well, you know, it really has to do with your project.
- Ellyn Warren: Oh, that's okay. Just show me what you did the other day.
- Melissa Steadman: Well, see, it's about the prints, I didn't have time to print.
- Ellyn Warren: [clearly displeased] Oh. Okay.
- Melissa Steadman: Well, I told you about last night, right?
- Ellyn Warren: No, no. I know, I know, I know.
- Melissa Steadman: It's not about last night...
- Ellyn Warren: [a bit gruffly] Well, do you have time to do it now?
- Melissa Steadman: [pacing nervously] No. Uhm. It's just that, well, they moved the magazine's deadline up. You know, the piece I was doing? So I had to prep the shoot, do the shoot, get the proofs done, turn them in... so I haven't had time to print, but I called Russel to see if he could do it.
- Ellyn Warren: When can he do it?
- Melissa Steadman: Well, he can do it next week, if that's not too late. I mean, if that's all right.
- Ellyn Warren: Uhm. I just have to think.
- Melissa Steadman: And if it's not, just say the world, and I'll...
- Ellyn Warren: No, I just have to think...
- Ellyn Warren: [after a clear moment of stress, looking up and smiling] Yeah. It's all right. Because, uh, this is exactly what I've been trying to work on in my therapy. This is the kind of thing that would get me into trouble before, you know? Not being able to 'roll with the punches' as it were?
- Melissa Steadman: Well, if it's not, you know, I can come home tonight. I can do it tonight, you know? I could stay up late and do it.
- Ellyn Warren: No, no, it's really... Melissa... well... why didn't you just say 'no'?
- Melissa Steadman: I don't know.
- Melissa Steadman: [thinking about it] You're my friend. I didn't want to let you down.
- Rose Waldman: Melissa...
- [Rose looks at her granddaughter for a long time, clearly wanting to say something to her, but thinks better of it in the end]
- Rose Waldman: Happy Birthday, darling!
- Melissa Steadman: Happy Birthday, Nana.
- Rose Waldman: Do you know how much I love you?
- Melissa Steadman: I know how much, Nana.
- Rose Waldman: [clinking her glass with a knife and standing up at the head of the table] Can I have anybody's attention? Well, uh, tonight we have three birthday girls. One of them is eighty. But I'm not going to tell who. But I am going to tell a story about business. A manufacturer falls in love with a fabric, and buys five thousand yards. But he can only sell half of it. Well, I save his life. I take the other half. Now he's got something. People need to have something in their hands. Tonight, my hands are full. So is my heart. Tonight...
- Rose Waldman: [laughing and tossing down her notes] I'm eighty years old tonight! And as i look back on my life, I... I know my hands are too full. And I want to count my blessings. My biggest blessings are right here: my daughter, Elaine. Her husband, Murray. And my darling granddaughter, Melissa... to whom I am going to leave the business. After I have trainer her properly.
- [Everyone present is shocked into a stunned silence, including Ellyn and Michael]
- Rose Waldman: [to Melissa] And I trust and hope you will carry my name into the future.
- [Aunt Muriel enters with a cake and everyone starts to sing 'Happy Birthday' as Melissa just sits there, in unhappy shock]
- Michael Steadman: Oh, Melissa. I don't know how you do it. It's like you're totally honest with everybody but your family. Then you just, unzip your skin, hang it next to Rose's mink, and out steps this completely different person, who isn't you.
- Melissa Steadman: Who is she then?
- Michael Steadman: She's like this really good girl. Who doesn't see the truth.
- Melissa Steadman: And what is that?
- Michael Steadman: There's this old bat, sitting on a throne, running everybody's life, only now she can't even run her own. But she yells 'limbo' and the whole room starts dancing. I mean, look at your mom. Look at... You gotta face her, Melissa. Worse thing that can happen, she turns you to stone, right? Right?
- [Melissa leaves without saying anything. But she stops to look at Michael through his office window. He blows her a kiss and waves. She blows him a kiss and waves back]
- Melissa Steadman: Nana, really. I'd really rather talk here.
- Rose Waldman: Okay. Go on, go on. Talk, talk.
- Melissa Steadman: Nana, what you want me to do. What you've offered me. It's incredible! The store. It's your life. I'll always be grateful that you wanted me to take it, that you saw me that way.
- Rose Waldman: Melissa. I see you in this business with me. Till I die, and then it's yours. I was rich a long time ago. I could have stopped, but I didn't. I had to get this ready to give to someone.
- Melissa Steadman: But you've given me so much already. How can I ever thank you?
- Rose Waldman: I don't want you to thank me. I want to help you.
- Melissa Steadman: I don't need you to help me.
- Rose Waldman: Yes, you do. I know what's good for you.
- Melissa Steadman: Nana, the store, it's... I wouldn't be happy. It's not my life.
- Rose Waldman: [laughing sarcastically] Your life? What's your life? You snap a few pictures, you live like a bum, you dress like a freak. Do you have a meaningful relationship? A husband? A family? Oh. You want to be free. Independent. Great! But you don't fool me, Melissa. You never have. I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't know what is best for the people I love!
- Melissa Steadman: You don't know what's best for me.
- Rose Waldman: Yes I do.
- Melissa Steadman: [having had enough] You didn't do this for me, Rose. You did it for you. You don't know me. You've never known me. You never have. You can have this. All of it! I love you, Nana. But you can't have me!
- Rose Waldman: [stopping Melissa on her way out] Okay. Tomorrow I change my Will. And you'll have nothing. But you'll be happy, and I want you to be happy. I'll be dead, and you'll have nothing! Do you hear me, Melissa? Melissa! Melissa! Melissa...!
- Melissa Steadman: [responding to the knock at the door] Who is it?
- Elaine Steadman: It's me.
- [Elaine enters a darkened loft. Her voice comes from the dark]
- Elaine Steadman: What are you doing? You're boycotting the electric company?
- Elaine Steadman: What if something really happens to her?
- Melissa Steadman: Then we'll deal with it.
- Elaine Steadman: [stamping out her cigarette] I gotta go. I got six things to get for her. That traffic's gonna be murder.
- Melissa Steadman: [she gets up to leave, stopping at the door to turn back] You know, I was thinking. Maybe you should have taken the store.
- Melissa Steadman: Why?
- Elaine Steadman: Then you could afford to buy another earring.
- [the two exchange a sweet smile]
- Melissa Steadman: Mom?
- [Elaine Steadman turns back to look at her daughter]
- Melissa Steadman: I love you.
- [Elaine nods and heads out. Melissa gets up and removes her coat. She goes over and picks up a paint-roller and begins to paint the huge loading dock door of her loft]
- Mrs. Hyman: The usual thing, Rose.
- Rose Waldman: What?
- Mrs. Hyman: I can't decide. I'll be back with a friend.
- Rose Waldman: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Melissa! I got an idea.
- Melissa Steadman: [coming into dressing area] Yeah.
- Rose Waldman: This is my granddaughter, Melissa. This is Mrs. Hyman.
- Melissa Steadman: Hi.
- Mrs. Hyman: You're missing an earring, dear.
- Melissa Steadman: [clearly tired of explaining it] I'm looking for it.
- Rose Waldman: [knowingly] What are you going to do with all the earrings you've lost?
- Melissa Steadman: [sharing the joke] Make a bracelet.