Thirtysomething (TV Series)

Michael Writes a Story (1989)

Ken Olin: Michael Steadman

Quotes 

• Michael Steadman : The clock over the door stood at 2.43. Harrison watched the progress of the minutes. The second hand moved with the thoughtlessness of an underwater plant, caught in a lethargic current. Harrison carefully arranged himself on the stool and listened to the sad, tubercular sighing of the coffee urn. Once again his eyes were drawn back to the clock.

  Ivy Dunbar : [as a customer in the café Michael is writing about]  Well, this isn't very interesting, is it?

  Melissa Steadman : [as waitress]  I don't understand. Michael used to be very imaginative.

  Ivy Dunbar : I'm very disappointed. It lacks focus, intent, detail.

  Gary Shepherd : [as customer reading a newspaper with no print on it]  I'll say. Look at this. He's got me reading a blank newspaper!

• Hope Murdoch Steadman : Hi.

  Michael Steadman : Hi.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : What's cooking?

  Michael Steadman : Chicken Ohmygosh. It used to be Chicken Paprikosh but then I realized we don't have any paprika.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Pretty damned sneaky of you being nice to me when I'm angry at you.

  Michael Steadman : Yeah. Is it working?

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Not yet.

  Michael Steadman : I don't want this to come as a shock to you or anything, but, uhm, sometimes I can be pretty thoughtless.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : I wish it was a shock.

  Michael Steadman : Look. I didn't want you to see me crawl to Drentell. I didn't want you to see me turn into somebody other than the man that you married.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : It wouldn't have made any difference to me.

  Michael Steadman : Oh. Well, maybe that's part of what was bothering me. I made promises to you. I don't want you to let me off the hook. I don't want you to... to settle for ten cents on the dollar.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : [distracted, looking through work papers]  My husband, the Blue Light Special.

  Michael Steadman : I'm going in to talk to Miles tomorrow.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Is that something you want to do?

  Michael Steadman : Yes, I want to do it. Because it's time I do it.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : [turning to him]  And what about the writing?

  Michael Steadman : The writing. I could take workshops from now till Doomsday. I could wear down enough pencils to make a forest. But I could never make a sentence that means half as much to me as you do.

• Miles Drentell : Why don't you and your faithful Indian companion come in, say, Thursday, and have a nice chat?

  Michael Steadman : You're kidding.

  Miles Drentell : [expecting a different answer]  Okay.

  Michael Steadman : Are you kidding?

  Miles Drentell : Would you like me to be kidding?

  Michael Steadman : You want us to come in?

  Elliot Weston : Yes.

  Miles Drentell : [jovially sarcastic]  No, I dialed your number by mistake and I'm trying to cover.

• Elliot Weston : This is a great building plan. Man, I love this building!

  Michael Steadman : He's jerking us, Elliot.

  Elliot Weston : No, he's not, he's dancing with us, Mike.

  Michael Steadman : El, it isn't even a job.

  Elliot Weston : Oh, there's a job, all right.

  Michael Steadman : Oh, man. That guy's got such an attitude.

  Elliot Weston : It's okay, man. He can do it. He can do that, man. That's DAA out there, Mike. This agency's so cool, they don't even have to be in New York. We just gotta figure out what he wants us to do, that's all.

  Michael Steadman : He wants us to grovel, Elliot.

  Elliot Weston : What? I can do that.

  Michael Steadman : What, so we can sit in his ergonomically designed workspace? Listen to him pontificate about how he re-invented appetizers?

  Elliot Weston : Hey, what's the matter with you? You like being in purgatory?

  Michael Steadman : He wants us to beg, Elliot. He wants us to beg.

  Elliot Weston : Yeah? Well, so?

  Michael Steadman : Yeah, well, so, I got this trick knee. Before I get down on it to beg, I have to know what I'm begging for.

• Miles Drentell : What can I do for you, Michael? What do you want from me?

  Michael Steadman : Something you're not gonna give me.

  Miles Drentell : What's that?

  Michael Steadman : An invitation. I want you to ask us if we'd like to work for you.

  Miles Drentell : Instead of what?

  Michael Steadman : Instead of our begging for it.

  Miles Drentell : You ask me, I ask you. Either way, you end up here. What's the difference?

  Michael Steadman : I took your advice, Miles. I read Nishiro on "The Art of Management". He tells this story of these two samurai warriors standing in the rain. Their swords are drawn. They're ready to strike. But neither of them moves. They just stand there in the storm, poised.

  Miles Drentell : Why?

  Michael Steadman : You tell me.

  Miles Drentell : Because whoever moves first loses the advantage.

  Michael Steadman : So they both stand there getting soaked, accomplishing nothing. Stupid way to make a living, isn't it?

  Miles Drentell : Why don't the two of you come in, and we'll have a more substantive discussion?

  Michael Steadman : That sounds like a good idea.

• Hope Murdoch Steadman : Why would he call, if it wasn't about a job?

  Michael Steadman : Probably just to taunt us. You don't know this man, Hope.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Yeah, but if he called... I mean it indicates interest and it could mean a job.

  Michael Steadman : Listen. Speculation is pointless with Miles Drentell. The guy is like a bear, you know? You can never tell what he's thinking.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : [wistfully]  Oh, a job. I can stop playing leapfrog with the Visa cash advances. Oh, and I can stop worrying about them taking the baby to pay for the delivery room.

  Michael Steadman : Here it is. Yeah, I should probably read this, huh?

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Is the workshop going to interfere with the job at DAA?

  Michael Steadman : Read my lips: there is no job at DAA.

• Michael Steadman : [narrating]  The clock over the door stood at 2.43. Harrison watched the progress of the minutes. People seemed to aimlessly drift like lost, soulless leaves...

  Ivy Dunbar : [as waitress]  I know I told you there weren't any rules, but could you tell me exactly why you felt you had to split an infinitive?

• Michael Steadman : [narrating]  People drifted through his field of vision like lost, soulless leaves. The sounds of their shoes on the checkerboard tiles was like the dragging of monks' sandals. He singled her out mid motion. No, no, no, no... the coffee shop was empty except for her. She wore her ennui the way lesser women wore diamonds. Her dress was the iridescent black of raven's wings. No, no, no it wasn't! Her dress reminded him of rich, summer burgundy, port, sangria... Jeez! Her frock was the color of polished emeralds. As opposed to what? Unpolished emeralds? He approached the woman in the blue dress. Their eyes met. And they folded themselves into the waiting leather of the booth. The rain in the window streaked a pattern along her face... no, no, no, no, no... the sun through the window bleached... no, no, no, no... neon blinked beyond the window at her side.

  Michael Steadman : [as Harrison]  Nice dress.

  Michael Steadman : He said.

  Nancy Krieger Weston : [as Woman In The Blue Dress]  I'm in mourning.

  Michael Steadman : She replied.

  Michael Steadman : [as Harrison]  For what?

  Nancy Krieger Weston : For life?

  Michael Steadman : [narrating]  Sorrow went about her like a wet chamois.

  Nancy Krieger Weston : What's the point?

  Michael Steadman : She asked the air.

  Nancy Krieger Weston : We move through life, trapped by time and events, our empty days piling up like discarded socks in God's hamper.

  Michael Steadman : She was depressed.

• Nancy Krieger Weston : [as Woman In The Blue Dress]  We move through life, trapped by time and events, our empty days piling up like discarded socks in God's hamper.

  Michael Steadman : [as Harrison]  She was depressed.

  Nancy Krieger Weston : We struggle, but what does it get us?

  Michael Steadman : Perhaps nothing. Perhaps love.

  Michael Steadman : [narrating]  She looked at him and smiled.

  Nancy Krieger Weston : You're a funny sort of a guy, aren't ya?

  Michael Steadman : [narrating]  It was a sad smile just the same.

  Nancy Krieger Weston : But I'm afraid, we met a lifetime too late.

  Michael Steadman : [narrating]  The door of the coffee shop opened with the sound of a sad bell. He took his eyes off the woman and watched a man walk in.

  Nancy Krieger Weston : [standing and pulling out a gun]  Clive.

  Elliot Weston : [as Clive]  Rebecca! I can explain everything! I mean, really, I can!

  Nancy Krieger Weston : That's the problem, isn't it?

  Nancy Krieger Weston : [shooting Clive twelve times with a revolver and collapsing into Harrison's arms with a heavy sigh]  We met...

  Michael Steadman : She whispered.

  Nancy Krieger Weston : ...at a carnival.

  Ivy Dunbar : [after a stunned, embarrassed silence engulfs the classroom]  'Socks in Gods hamper'?

  Michael Steadman : It was a metaphor.

  Ivy Dunbar : That would be one way to describe it, yes.

• Michael Steadman : Watching his straight back walk away, I realized how busy the office had been beyond us. I hadn't noticed it. I had been aware of the sound, but not a human one. I had turned the sounds of the office into the sounds of the storm: rain, thunder... if I had closed my eyes, I might have seen the lighting reflected on our swords.

  Ivy Dunbar : [leaning over his shoulder, very pleased]  It's about time.