Thirtysomething (TV Series)

The Parents Are Coming (1987)

Peter Horton: Gary Shepherd

Quotes 

• Gary Shepherd : You paid how much for this?

  Michael Steadman : The question is not "Can this be done?". The question is "What can be done by 6:00 tonight?"

  Gary Shepherd : You know, plumbers get 25 an hour. Of course, I only get 15 an hour for teaching, but, uh, society has its priorities in order. So, which pay scale do you want? You can pick either one.

  Michael Steadman : We can get the sink working by then, can't we? And the toilet and the bathtub? Okay, forget the bathtub. Just the showerhead.

  Gary Shepherd : All right, all right. It's not because I love you. You understand that? You just happen to be the only person I can consistently humiliate at squash.

  Michael Steadman : 21-19 is humiliation?

  Gary Shepherd : It would be for me.

  Michael Steadman : Excuse me. We were tied 19 all.

  Gary Shepherd : And you choked. You lost it. You had no taste for the jugular.

• Gary Shepherd : Hey, yoo-hoo! We're in here! Don't mind us. Just slowly open the curtain.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Get out of here!

  Gary Shepherd : Did you ever notice what happens when someone flushes the...

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : [as he flushes the toilet, she shrieks as the water temperature in the shower changes]  You are dead meat, Shepherd!

• Michael Steadman : [for a visit from Hope's parents, Gary helps with repairs in their guest bathroom]  Well?

  Gary Shepherd : Hey, no problem, man. We'll have it done by tomorrow night. We're missing that little squiggle.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Oh, excuse me. What? Tomorrow? This is not happening.

  Gary Shepherd : Sorry, lady. We don't have the part. See what happens when you go non-union?

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : That's it, I'm going. Tell them I cracked up. Tell them I live in a cave. Tell me when they leave.

  Michael Steadman : [she leaves and closes the front door]  Are you really my friend?

  Gary Shepherd : Yes.

  Michael Steadman : Kill me.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : [coming back]  Where's my daughter?

• Michael Steadman : Don't kill me.

  Gary Shepherd : I'm waiting.

  Michael Steadman : You know that really cute aerobics instructor? I hear she's great at squash.

  Gary Shepherd : I'm not hearing this.

  Michael Steadman : No, listen, we're talking major death around here. It's their last night in town.

  Gary Shepherd : They can come. We'll play doubles.

  Michael Steadman : Yeah. I knew you'd understand.

  Gary Shepherd : Goodbye, Michael.

  Michael Steadman : Wait, wait, wait. Are you angry?

  Gary Shepherd : No, I'm not mad. I just have to give a lecture in four minutes, and I still have to decide what it's about.