- Hope Murdoch Steadman: You don't like any of them?
- Val Shilladay: Well, some of it. The ones we've done before. Didn't you read the magazine when you were away?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Well, I tried, but it all blurs together with the baby, and I think the last thing I read was "Curious George Files a Class-Action Suit".
- Michael Steadman: Elliot, we need an idea. Because if we don't get an idea, we don't get any money. And if we don't get any money, we don't get new guns, which is supply-side economics, Elliot, which is what made this country great. So, Elliot, please. Please, Elliot, get an idea!
- Elliot Weston: How can I have an idea? I'm separated!
- Michael Steadman: How is Nancy, anyway?
- Elliot Weston: Shrewlike, vindictive. I miss her.
- Michael Steadman: Women. Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.
- Elliot Weston: What'd she do now?
- Michael Steadman: Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. It's just, last night we were in bed together...
- Elliot Weston: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is this gonna be one of those hot sex stories? 'Cause if it is, I can't handle it.
- Michael Steadman: [about the new temp they hired] I got here early, Elliot. She was unhooking our paperclip chain.
- Elliot Weston: W-W-Wait a minute. We spent two years on that.
- Michael Steadman: I know.
- Elliot Weston: I can't believe it. What sh... hey, where's the rest of the pens? The felt-tips?
- Michael Steadman: She threw them away.
- Elliot Weston: She what?
- Michael Steadman: They were dried up, Elliot.
- Elliot Weston: No, you're never supposed to do that, Michael. What, did she do the mouth test first?
- Michael Steadman: Shh. Shh. Shh. She's watching us.
- Michael Steadman: Someone sent us fruit? What have we got to feel good about?
- Elliot Weston: It's from Jeanine, from L.A. She called.
- Michael Steadman: When's she coming in?
- Elliot Weston: She had a great vacation. She saw Susan Dey jogging. She went on a game show. She won some stuff.
- Michael Steadman: Really?
- Elliot Weston: Yeah, yeah. A microwave, a bedroom set, $109,000. Then she quit.
- Michael Steadman: At 109?
- Elliot Weston: No, us. She quit us.
- Michael Steadman: She quit.
- Elliot Weston: She quit.
- Michael Steadman: So she's not coming in, then.
- Elliot Weston: Uh-uh. Which is really okay. I mean, it's not a problem, 'cause I called a temp agency.
- Michael Steadman: Jeanine quit. We didn't even get a chance to fire her. Jeanine quit.
- Elliot Weston: Jeanine who?
- Michael Steadman: I can't deal with this.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: [after finding old pictures of their house's previous owners] That's Roy, Sally, and her mother. And this was her house.
- Michael Steadman: Mm. What's this?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Ooh, don't look. It's the garden. You'll be depressed. Remember the unfaded piece of wallpaper?
- Michael Steadman: Yeah. In the dining room?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it was the radio. One of those big, old-fashioned kind with this picture on top.
- Michael Steadman: Oh. They have kids?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: They just got married. Give them time.
- Michael Steadman: I don't know. This house seems like it was made for a lot of kids.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: We'll never know.
- [he takes one of the photographs]
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Michael!
- Michael Steadman: Admit it, babe. You're hot for the uniform.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Oh, you're just jealous 'cause you don't even have a uniform.
- Michael Steadman: Oh, yes, I do. I have a Cub Scout uniform.
- Val Shilladay: What about the radon business Joy talked about in the staff meeting?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: I could do that.
- Val Shilladay: We could make it personal. Uh, from the angle of your average hysterical homeowner. You take a young couple, they make a few bucks, they buy a big house, they wait for the sweet life, and then they don't know what they've gotten into.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: [sarcastic] I don't know anybody like that.
- Val Shilladay: But what we're saying is you have to know your own house from top to bottom, literally. So, great. You go write that.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Me? I'm a researcher.
- Val Shilladay: Murdoch, my writers win awards ripping off your research reports.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: You want me to write this?
- Val Shilladay: And hand me the report three weeks ago.
- Val Shilladay: You thinking about having another one?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Val, I'm still trying to get the computer to spell my name right so I can cash my first six paychecks. You're talking to me about another kid?
- Michael Steadman: I need an opinion, okay? Floor wax. I have to come up with an idea...
- Gary Shepherd: Free elections. Let the people decide.
- Michael Steadman: Not Nicaragua, Gary. Floor wax. Spread and Shine floor wax. Shut up. Give me an idea, okay? Free associate.
- Gary Shepherd: Yeah. Free associate. Free floor wax. Let the people decide.
- Michael Steadman: [sarcastic] Thank you, Gary. Why do I like you?
- Gary Shepherd: You have to. I'm tall.