Futurama (TV Series)

Love's Labours Lost in Space (1999)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Zapp Brannigan, Doug, M-5438

Photos 

Quotes 

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.

• Fry : Hey, lucky for us Zapp Branigan's nearby!

  Leela : No way, forget it. I refuse to go crawling back to him.

  Fry : What? What do you mean?

  Leela : Nothing. We just talked.

  Bender : So? It's not like you slept with him.

  [there is a pause. Leela looks at Fry, and Bender, then down to the floor] 

  Bender : Oh, my God!

• Leela : You know Zapp, once I thought you were a big pompous buffoon. Then I realised that inside, you were just a pitiful child. But now I realise that outside that child is a big pompous buffoon!

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : And which one rocked your world?

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?

  [pause] 

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : Kif, I'm asking you a question.

  [Kif groans] 

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.

• [Zapp Brannigan offers Leela some champagne] 

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : Cham-paggin?

  Leela : I didn't realize you were such a "coin-asseur."

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : Well, I have studied abroad... or two.

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : Oh, God, I'm pathetic. Sorry. Just go... You want the rest of the cham-paggin?

  Leela : No, and it's pronounced "cham-pain".

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : Oh, God, no!

• Kif Kroker : The jackass wants to see you in his quarters.

  Leela : Good. This will be my chance to reason with him, captain to captain.

  Kif Kroker : He also requests that you wear this.

  [Kif holds up a skimpy costume. Leela ignores it and knocks on Zapp's door] 

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : [sexily]  Come and get it!

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : Captain's journal. Stardate: uhhh...

  Kif Kroker : April 13.

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : April 13... point two.

• Dr. Zoidberg : The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well.

• Fry : I can't believe we traveled halfway across the galaxy and enjoyed a good steam just to get lunch for that dumb animal!

  Bender : He's pending for a bending!

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : So, crawling back to the big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious.

  Leela : Birds don't crawl.

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : They'd been known to.

• [after Zapp and Leela have slept together] 

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.

• Fry : If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low IQ or an explosive violent temper, of course you're going to be lonely.

• [Amy wants to take Leela out to cheer her up] 

  Amy Wong : Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people.

  Hermes Conrad : The Federal Sex Bureau.

  Bender : A saucy puppet show.

  Dr. Zoidberg : The rotting carcass of a whale.

  Amy Wong : Mmmmm... I'll pick.

• Leela : That's Zapp Brannigan's ship.

  Fry : *The* Zapp Brannigan?

  Leela : Uh-huh.

  Fry : Who's *the* Zapp Brannigan?

• Fry : Wow, way to tell that guy off. Now what's your secret escape plan?

  Leela : Uhh... I guess to sit here and wait for death.

  Bender : [cheerfully]  Can do.

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : As my protégé you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her.

  [Kif groans] 

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : This time we are sure she's a woman, right?

  Kif Kroker : *Yes*.

• Amy Wong : [at a nightclub]  Everything is so retro.

  Fry : Why is everyone wearing those rings?

  Amy Wong : Guh! Because nobody wears them anymore. Rings are stupid.

  Fry : I think they're cool.

  Amy Wong : Shh! Don't let anyone hear you.

  Guy : Hey, did that guy just say that rings are cool?

  Amy Wong : No, he said they're stupid.

  Guy : Cool!

• Fry : I can't believe it! I thought you had some standards. I mean, he's a dumb, gross gorilla.

  Leela : Don't you think I feel bad enough already?

  Fry : No.

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : Captain's log. Stardate: 3000.6.

  Kif Kroker : Who are you talking to?

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : You, Kif. Aren't you writing this down?

• Woman at bar : You're from the 20th century? That's incredible. I'm from the 21st century.

  Fry : No way. We've got so much in common.

  Woman at bar : We sure do. Remember when those cyborgs enslaved humanity?

  Fry : Uh... yeah. That rings a bell.

• Fry : We could totally escape, Bender. All you have to do is bend the hatch off this steam pipe.

  Bender : Hey, yeah.

  [He bends open the hatch; the cell fills with steam] 

  Fry : No good, it's full of steam!

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast.

• Computer : This is Vergon Six.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : This is Vergon Six.

  Amy Wong : Buh...

• Kif Kroker : Sir, they're headed straight for us.

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : A well calculated move. Straight out of Sun Tzu's classic text, "The Art of War". Or my own master work, "Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War". But the one thing their captain doesn't realize and never will is that...

  Kif Kroker : Sir, they've docked with us and have come aboard.

• Leela : Could you guys please stop talking about my personal life?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Yes, let's all talk about Leela's personal life later.

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : Has my fame preceded me or was I too fast for it?

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : Mmm... Welcome to my humble chamber or as I call it, "The Lovenasium".