Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (TV Series)

Pilot (2006)

Matthew Perry: Matt Albie

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Danny Tripp : What are you smiling about?

  Matt Albie : Nice studio. It's a great studio with an incredible history. The people who've had this stage...

  Danny Tripp : You like it?

  Matt Albie : Yeah.

  Danny Tripp : Good, 'cause we live here now.

• Matt Albie : Are you people using the confidential information that Danny failed a drug test to force him into taking over Studio 60 to deflect attention from what happened on the air tonight?

  Jack Rudolph : [long pause]  ... He failed a drug test?

  Jordan McDeere : Yeah, actually Matt, I was the only one who knew about that. Shoulda trusted me a little, Danny.

  Matt Albie : [to Danny]  Sorry about that, that one was all me.

  Danny Tripp : Yeah.

  Matt Albie : [to everyone]  Ironically, I'm the one who's high as a paper kite right now, but legitimately. I had back surgery Tuesday. L5 S1, if that means anything to you. Stop talking now? Yeah, you bet.

• Danny Tripp : Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was...

  Matt Albie : Forget that. But it's going to be our show now, and only one of use can screw up at a time. And I think we both know that most of the time it's going to be me. You're the big shoulders.

  Danny Tripp : I hear you.

  Matt Albie : Good. Because I don't remember what I just said.

  Danny Tripp : I do.

• Harriet Hayes : First of all, could you stop telling people we broke up because of the national anthem? It makes me sound like an idiot.

  Matt Albie : Actually, the consensus is it makes me sound like an idiot.

  Harriet Hayes : Well, be that as it may and truer words were never spoke, please stop it.

• Matt Albie : Okay, look, wait. I'll bond you.

  Danny Tripp : What?

  Matt Albie : I'll pay for the bond!

  Danny Tripp : How much money do you have?

  Matt Albie : Well... with my savings, and investments, and my percentage of the first dollar gross in this movie... sixty-five dollars.

• Harriet Hayes : I was great, by the way. I got a standing ovation.

  Matt Albie : Harry, I'm sure you were great, but it's the national anthem. They were standing already.

• Matt Albie : How did it know?

  Danny Tripp : How did it know what?

  Matt Albie : Exactly how much time was left in the week?

  Danny Tripp : Yeah, it's a miracle of technology that we've invented an electronic device that can count backwards from seven.

  Matt Albie : But it was off.

  Danny Tripp : It has a battery.

  Matt Albie : [in horror]  So it always knows?

  Danny Tripp : Don't endow the thing with special powers, Matt - it's a clock.

• Matt Albie : I'm the only sane person I know.

• Matt Albie : But it's gonna be our show now, and only one of us can screw up at a time and I think that we both know that most of the time, it's gonna be me. You're the big shoulders.

  Danny Tripp : I hear you.

  Matt Albie : Good, cause I don't remember what I just said.

  Danny Tripp : I do.

• Matt Albie : Are they swinging this thing in front of your face?

  Danny Tripp : The point is, the new movie...

  Matt Albie : Sons of bitches!

  [takes off running] 

  Danny Tripp : - does not have to - Matt? Matt!

• Matt Albie : [after falling]  Sorry. That was strange. I'm sorry.

  Danny Tripp : You all right?

  Matt Albie : Yeah. I'm on some medication right now that I guess makes me... not know where chairs are.

• Jack Rudolph : There's gonna be a press conference at noon on Monday announcing that you two are running "Studio 60". I know I can count on you to answer questions in a way that doesn't embarass the National Broadcasting System. Will that be hard for you?

  Matt Albie : I wouldn't think it'd be hard for anybody, cause if you pointed a camera at two people masturbating it'd be among the least embarassing things on the National Broadcasting System. I'll tell Blair to start working on the deal.

  Jordan McDeere : I've already got a dual masturbation show in active development, so...

• Matt Albie : Thanks, man. I miss her. I really do. I'm dying inside, and I appreciate your support.

  Danny Tripp : Matt.

  Matt Albie : Yeah?

  Danny Tripp : Go up on the stage now.

  Matt Albie : Why?

  Danny Tripp : You just won.

  Matt Albie : Really?

  Danny Tripp : Yeah.

  Matt Albie : Hey, that's great!

• Matt Albie : Ironically, I'm the one who's high as a paper kite right now, but legitimately. I had back surgery Tuesday. L5 S1, if that means anything to you. Stop talking now? Yeah, you bet.

• Danny Tripp : [speaking about Jordan McDeere]  You gotta give her style points.

  Matt Albie : Yeah.

  Danny Tripp : And you gotta ask yourself...

  Matt Albie : What?

  Danny Tripp : What if she's for real?

  Matt Albie : [smiles]  Yeah.

• Matt Albie : The winds started blowing hard in another direction and all of a sudden my jokes weren't so funny anymore. You put a flag over the network bug, god forbid you should just loose the bug altogether, and you pointed us towards the door.

• Danny Tripp : They broke up.

  Julie : Oh no! Why?

  Danny Tripp : Because he couldn't stop himself from speaking.

  Matt Albie : I was right, she was wrong, I'm all about the truth, partner.

• Danny Tripp : Matt, you can get another director. You can get someone good.

  Matt Albie : I don't want someone else. I want you.

  Danny Tripp : The joke was "I don't want someone good, I want you."

• Matt Albie : The woman I broke up with is a cast member and it would be awkward if I went to the party and... killed her in front of all those people.