South Park (TV Series)
Kenny Dies (2001)
Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Doctor #1, Larry, Ms. Choksondik, Mr. Mackey, Randy Marsh, Doctor #2, Nurse #2, Bob Perrin, Poitician #1, Politician #2, Politician #3, Mark, Old Man, Man on Crutches, Mr. Garrison
Photos
Quotes
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Stan : Why would God let Kenny die, Chef? Why? Kenny's my friend. Why can't God take someone else's friend?
Chef : [Soothing piano music is played] Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?
Stan : But then, why does God give us anything to start with?
Chef : Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then you would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.
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Man : [from the Wish Come True Foundation] I know, I'll bet you'd like to meet Madonna, huh?
Kenny : [rapid-fire mumbling] No. Fuckin' Madonna...
Man : What was that?
Kyle : He said Madonna is an old, anorexic whore who wore out her welcome years ago and that now she suddenly speaks with an Brittish accent and she thinks she can play guitar and she should go fuck herself.
[the Foundation reps are stunned]
Madonna : Should I come in now?
Man : Um, not quite yet.
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Woman : [rrom the Make-A-Wish Foundation] So, Kenny, if you could have one wish, what would it be?
[silence]
Man : What's your wish, pal?
Kenny : [muffled] I guess the only thing I wish is not to die.
Woman : What did he say?
Kyle : He said his wish is not to die.
[long stretch of silence]
Woman : Okay, and what if you're gonna have two wishes? What would the second one be?
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Kyle : Stan, where are you going?
Stan : I can't. I just can't.
Kyle : Dude, he needs us right now.
Stan : I can't see him like that, Kyle. All those hoses and wires... He's a kid, dude, he's supposed to be running around and laughing.
Kyle : I know it's tough. But look at me! I know it's tough, OK? But we have to be tough right now.
Stan : And what are we supposed to do, huh? Stand in that room and keep making small talk? Make believe like everything is OK? I can't do it!
Kyle : Look however you think it's harder for you it's a lot harder for him!
Stan : [walking away] Just leave me alone!
Kyle : Stan, you can't leave.
Stan : [crying] I'm not the one who's leaving! He is!
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Cartman : [Cartman breaks down after visiting Kenny] Oh hey. What's going down, Jew boy?
Kyle : Cartman were you crying?
Cartman : Oh no, I got something in my eye. It's the air in here, it's just... oh man.
[resumes crying]
Kyle : Hey Cartman. I care a lot about him too.
[they both hold each other and cry together]
Cartman : I'm gonna find a cure, Kyle. I swear to God, I'm gonna find a cure.
Kyle : Sure you will, Cartman. Sure you will.
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Eric Cartman : Oh, please okay you tell me where you can get aborted fetuses for 70 cents on the dollar. You tell me, Chuck. Yeah I didn't think so. You know I'm just like the fetuses Chuck, I wasn't born yesterday either. Ah-hah. So you're gonna talk to me or are we just gonna keep bullshitting each other? You're breaking my balls Chuck.
