- Captain Hero: Something was amiss. Xandir was acting strange, Tim Tommerson was awfully quiet and I noticed that I was getting fucked in the ass more than usual.
- Spanky Ham: All right TV Reviewer, you've gone too far! And who are you to tell us - WHAT THE HELL!
- Spanky Ham: No wonder you hate the show. You're everything we make fun of.
- Spanky Ham: You're a Jewish, conservative, pro-life, born-again, overweight, Asian Lesbian broad who cuts herself.
- Spanky Ham: So, maybe somebody who doesn't happen to be a Jewish, conservative, pro-life, born-again, overweight, Indian lesbian broad who cuts herself, might not be offended by the show.
- Spanky Ham: Yes! But people should know you're not our audience, asshole!
- Pluto the Dog: [while holding Goofy hostage] He's the only fucking dog good enough to wear fucking pants? Well, I want to wear the fucking pants for once!
- [Shoots Goofy, then himself]