South Park (TV Series)

Best Friends Forever (2005)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Man in Line, Game Voiceover, Ice Cream Man, Heavenly Voice #2, St. Peter, Mormon #2, Mormon #3, Mormon #4, Archangel Michael, Satan, Kevin, Angel #2, Dr. Doctor, Man in Heaven, Lawyer, Judge #2, HBC News Reader, Skeeter, Ms. Garrison, Interviewee #1, Interviewee #2, Republican #1, Angel #5

Quotes 

• [the crowds gather inside Hell's Pass Hospital in the battle for the feeding tube] 

  Kyle : [shouts]  We all want the country to see that Kenny is alive, and in pain!

  Cartman : [shouts]  I believe the people at home see he's not in pain because he's a tomato!

  Kyle : [shouts]  You say tomato, but I say Kenny!

  Cartman : [shouts]  You say Kenny, but I say tomato!

  Cartman's Side : [shouts]  Tomato!

  Kyle's Side : [shouts]  Kenny! Kenny!

  Cartman's Side : [shouts]  Tomato!

• [the crowds gather outside Hell's Pass Hospital protesting for the feeding tube to be reinserted into Kenny in his persistent vegetative state] 

  Stan : [shouts]  Don't kill Kenny!

  Crowd : [shouts]  You bastards!

  Stan : [shouts]  Don't kill Kenny!

  Crowd : [shouts]  You bastards!

  Uriel : [drifting through the crowd]  No! No, they're not killing him, they're letting him die!

  Skeeter : [shouts]  You bureaucrats have no right to play God and take that tube out!

  Gabriel : [explaining]  No, no, you see, they were playing God when they put the feeding tube *in*!

• [the boys arrive at Hell's Pass Hospital and find Kenny in a persistent vegetative state] 

  Stan : [surprised]  Kenny?

  Kyle : [jubilant]  Kenny! You're alive!

  Stan : Dude, how'd you do that?

  [pause] 

  Doctor : He can't respond to you, boys. Being dead for that long caused a severe damage to his brain.

  Cartman : Well... well, then he's not alive.

  Mrs. McCormick : He's alive. He smiles when I talk to him, I think...

  Cartman : That's not Kenny! Kenny sniffs paint and sets things on fire! Here, look.

  [climbs onto Kenny's bed, holding up a dollar bill to Kenny] 

  Cartman : Kenny, Kenny, look. Want a dollar?

  [long pause] 

  Mr. McCormick : I don't know if it's right to keep Kenny alive on that machine. I just... I don't know what he would want.

  Stan : Yeah, the lawyer lost that page.

  Cartman : Oh, I just remembered! Kenny told me this one time, that he wouldn't wanna be kept alive by a feeding tube.

  Mrs. McCormick : He did? When?

  Cartman : [figuring out]  Um, it was, um, this one time...

  Kyle : He did not say that! You just want him dead so you can have his stupid PSP!

  Cartman : Stupid? PSP is stupid? Did you all hear that?... Uh, I mean... I mean, this isn't about the PSP, Kyle! This is about my friend and his wishes! And Kenny said he didn't want to live like this!

  Kyle : He did not!

  Cartman : Did so!

  Kyle : Did not!

  Cartman : [shouts]  Fine! We'll see about this, you freakin' Jew! I'm gonna get that feeding tube removed if I have to go all the way to the Supreme Court!

  [walks out the door] 

• Archangel Michael : Oh my God, they killed Kenny!