- [repeated line]
- Randy Marsh: [getting put in a car by the cops after fighting at Stan's Baseball Game] I thought this was America!
- Cartman: [the boys are trying to intentionally throw the championship baseball game] At this point in a sports movie, the team always goes out and finds a really sweet player to join their team.
- Clyde Donovan: Like that motorcycle kid in Bad News Bears?
- Cartman: Exactly right, Clyde. So what we need is to find somebody to join our team who totally sucks ass!
- Butters Stotch: My dad always said, "It's okay to lose, but if you don't try, you're grounded, mister."