South Park (TV Series)

The Red Badge of Gayness (1999)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Mr. Garrison, Grandpa Marsh, Man in Crowd #1, Randy Marsh, Officer Barbrady, Ralph, Mrs. Hollis, Policeman, Tom the News Reader, Hiding Man #1, National Guard #1, Suzette, Tour Guide, National Guard #2, President's Aide #1, Bill Clinton

Quotes 

• Cartman : Dear you guys. Words cannot express how much I hate you guys. As we fight our way northward into the great unknown, only that one thing remains certain: that I hate you guys with every tired muscle in my confederate body. We have taken Topeka and I must rally the men onward to Missouri. Because I will not stop until we have won it all, and you guys are my slaves. Because I hate you guys. I hate you guys so very very much. Yours, General Cartman Lee.

• Stan : You can't just show up to a Civil War re-enactment dressed up like General Lee, fatass.

  Cartman : Oh really? I'm pretty sure I just did.

• Kyle Broflovski : [Cartman is attempting to attack a fort at Chattanooga]  Give it up, fat ass, there's over 100 National Guard guys here!

  Cartman : [in the distance]  Suck my ass!

• Cartman : You can't just hit a drum, you have to beat the shit out of it!

• Cartman : Come, Kenny. Come fight for us and I'll make sure you get lots of plunder and womens.

  Kenny McCormick : Woohoo!

• Stan : [to Bill Clinton]  Don't touch me.

• Cartman : Dear Ms. McCormick, It is with a very heavy heart that I must inform you that your son, Kenny, was killed in battle on the morning of November 18th at Ruby Hills Funland in Chattanooga. This war has taken something from all of us, and although your son appears to be the only casualty so far, know that we all share your pain. Your son did not die in vain. I shall persevere and make Stan and Kyle my slaves, because I hate those guys. I hate them so very very much. Yours, General Cartman Lee.