Daria (TV Series)

Arts 'n' Crass (1998)

Tracy Grandstaff: Daria Morgendorffer

Quotes 

• Jane : You're a real Joan of Arc, you know that?

  Daria : Yeah. And I think I just ordered a stake.

• Daria : What's wrong?

  Helen : Your father had a little business setback, dear. He lost a client.

  Jake Morgendorffer : "I got a great idea," he said. "A million dollar idea," he said. "Cigars for pets. What do you think?" he said. "I want you to be honest," he said. What the hell made me believe him?

• Daria : The systems failed us.

  Jane : The system sucks. Were going to have to go outside the system.

  Daria : You don't mean...

  Jane : Yes.

• Jane Lane : Can she do that?

  Daria Morgendorffer : No, this is all a bad dream brought on by too much pene a la pesto.

  Jane Lane : Do we have any recourse or anything? I mean, cant we talk to Mr. O'Neil

  Daria Morgendorffer : We could appeal to him, and he might turn the full force of his overwhelming personality to Ms. Li, and then she'd eat him.

  Jane Lane : Well, what about your mother?

  Daria Morgendorffer : How about yours?

  Jane Lane : My mother's a little preoccupied right now. She's tracking down the source of a disturbing heat variation in her kiln. But your mother is a lawyer.

  Daria Morgendorffer : Yeah, a mother that thinks it's a good idea for me to get involved in the poster contest...

  [sighs] 

  Daria Morgendorffer : The systems failed us...

  Jane Lane : The system sucks. We're going to have to go outside the system...

  Daria Morgendorffer : You don't mean...

  Jane Lane : Yes.

• Jane : What does this have to do with our poster?

  Mr O'Neill : It changes a negative message into a positive one. She's not pretty because she starved herself into it; she's pretty because she takes care of herself! It's even more powerful than before, because it's upbeat!

  Jane : I see. She's not going to throw up anymore. But I might.

  Daria : Don't do that. It's downbeat.

• Jane : You know, nobody said the message had to be positive. I'm going to do something that really represents student life.

  Daria : Yes.

  Jane : And tell the truth about how much it can suck.

  Daria : Yes.

  Jane : To blow away the story-book fantasy about how great it is to be young.

  Daria : Yes.

  Jane : And you're going to help.

  Daria : No.

• Daria Morgendorffer : So then... Splat. Dinner ends up all over my dad's head.

  Jane Lane : Wow, excellent, your youthful integrity is tearing your family asunder.

• Jodie Abigail Landon : What are you guys doing here?

  Daria Morgendorffer : Observing.

  Jane Lane : Innocently.

  Jodie Abigail Landon : I can't believe what Ms. Li did to your poster... Wait a minute, what are you guys planning?

  Daria Morgendorffer : Get lost, Landon.

  Jane Lane : For your own good.

  Daria Morgendorffer : You've got a bright future, kid.

  Jane Lane : You don't wanna be here when what's gonna go down goes down.

• Daria : How about we call it, "America's Future Leaders," and we just enlarge a picture of Kevin and Brittany?

  Jane : Come on, that's too depressing. How about we call it, "Beauty is only Skin Deep," and we attach the actual skin of a student?

  Daria : Oh, I like that. I wonder if we can talk Quinn into donating hers?