South Park (TV Series)
Hooked on Monkey Fonics (1999)
Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Mark Cotswolds, Mr. Cotswolds, Mr. Garrison, Randy Marsh, Ronnie James Dio, Token
Quotes
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Mayor McDaniels : [at the spelling bee] All right, Mark, your word is "conscientious."
Cartman : [to Kyle] What? What the fuck does that mean?
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Mark Cotswolds : Public schools may be a bit lacking in education, but it's the main place where children learn all of their social skills. You can't teach a child social skills. They have to learn it for themselves. And the only place to do that is on the playground, in the cafeteria, and so on. Don't you see, Papá? That's what happened to your daughter. You tried so hard to keep her from anything sexual, and now look at her. She's a God-damned whore, Papá.
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Mayor McDaniels : Eric, your word is "chair."
Cartman : Uh, definition?
Mayor McDaniels : Something you sit on.
Cartman : Country of origin?
Mayor McDaniels : English!
Cartman : Could you please use it in a sentence?
Mayor McDaniels : Oh, for Christ's sake, kid, the word is "chair!"
Cartman : "Chair." C-H-A-R-E.
[buzzer sounds]
Cartman : Goddamnit! How come I get the hard ones?
[furiously, as he leaves the stage]
Cartman : GET OVER HERE YOU SONOFABITCH FONICS MONKEY!
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Mark Cotswolds : [to Kyle] You made my sister into a slut. I'll kill you!
