- Jimmy's dad: You're sure you weren't masturbating, Jim? It's okay if you were.
- Jimmy: Dad, Jesus Christ!
- Lady at special olympics register: OK, and what's his disability?
- Cartman's Mom: Umm... he's retarded.
- Lady at special olympics register: No I'm asking what his specific condition is? Down's syndrome? Cerebral palsy?
- Cartman's Mom: Ohh, oh I'm not sure. Sweetie, what is your condition?
- Cartman: How should I know? I'm retarded. DUURRHH!
- Jimmy's dad: [after Jimmy took a while to answer the door] Jimmy, were you masturbating?
- Jimmy: [Timmy catches him with steroids] D-d-don't lecture me on the finer points of sportsmanship, Timmy!
- Jimmy Valmer: You're not leaving anybody! You just keep your God damn mouth shut and do as you're...
- [stutters]
- Jimmy Valmer: told!